Tight Knit with God

Women of Faith 2010 "Over The Top"

2010-10-26T08:09:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd share my notes from the conference.

The key verse this year is Romans 11:33 taken from The Message: "Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God..."

The first speaker of the weekend (and one of my absolute favorites) was Patsy Clairmont

* "Solomon has a heart of humility which pleases God" but having a haughty heart does not please God
* Don't marry a man to reform him... that's what reform school is for! (love her sense of humor!)
* If somebody is hurting me, ask God, who am I doing that same thing to?

Next came everybody's favorite, Andy Andrews, who Patsy lovingly referred to as Tigger on steroids!

* I read over the weekend his book "The Noticer". A lot of what he shared over the weekend was in this book. He bounced around all the time (physically but also in what he was talking about) so it was hard to take really good notes on him.
* He spoke about Jones, the man who turned his life around, Jones was the Noticer. He helped bring perspective to Andy's life. Perspective brings calm, calm brings ideas, Ideas are where God reveals His answers
* One of his 7 principles is to seek Wisdom: one way is by our associations - we should be just as concerned about who we hang out with as we are about who are kids hang out with. Another way is in our viewing - what are we listening to, watching, reading?
* He said the worse thing for you is to have friends who accept you for who you are. A true friend will hold you to a higher standard. They should love us as we are now, but push us to be better, to become who God wants us to be...
* He also shared what I consider his interpretation of the Love Languages:

1. The Canaray - is quality time, you don't have to talk to them, or pet them... they are happiest when you are sitting in the same room just listening to them sing.
2. The Puppy Dog - is words of affirmation, feeding isn't necessary, petting isn't super important, but when you talk sweetly and say "good puppy!" they are so happy their whole body tends to wag!
3. The Goldfish - is acts of service, talking to them doesn't matter, and neither does petting, they are the happiest when you clean their tank, feed them and straighten their castle
4. The Kitty Cat - is physical touch, they don't care if you talk, they don't need you to feed them (they hunt!) but if you pet them, their little motors start running (in fact they often go out of their way to touch you!)

Patsy spoke again Friday afternoon.

* She referred to wisdom as being skill in living
* God has designed us with a will stronger than any emotion we may have
* We need to create boundaries on our emotions so they don't rule us. She referenced Proverbs 29:11 A fool lets it all hang out; a sage quietly mulls it over.
* Sarcasm is Anger gone underground and come up in a clown suit!
* Next we need to Harness our thoughts. She referred to the 3 R's: Refuse (bad thoughts), Replace (with something worthy) and Repeat
* Next we need to minimize your words. Don't say too much to too many
* Lastly she said we need to take a first step: she gave an example of how she gave up caffeine, anti-depressants and smoking

Andy spoke again Friday afternoon

* Another principle is Anger resolution = forgiveness. Forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. If we make good decisions our emotions will follow
* Forgiveness has to do with the past and us/Trust has to do with the future and them
* We cannot be who we want to be when we hold a grudge on ourselves
* A conscious choice is not a mistake. A mistake is covered by grace and can be reset. A choice causes true sorrow and forgiveness is the only thing that can reset things. Even with our kids, it is important to ask them for forgiveness when we make a bad choice that effects them.
* Another principle is chose to be happy/grateful. Hard to be grumpy when you are smiling
* He also shared a story about the Butterfly effect... how the actions of one person 150 years ago has saved the lives of 2 billion people and counting...

Friday night We had a brief introduction to all the speakers. Anita Renfroe sang her MomSense song. Lisa Welchel, Mandissa, Marilyn Meberg, Sandi Patty, Patsy and Andy were introduced.

Nicole Johnson did a drama about the best Christmas Present ever: her Label Maker... this drama shared how we label people to help us keep our lives in order, but those labels can hurt others... fat, ungodly, lazy, loud, etc...

Anita came back on. Hoping for more comedy than her singing, but enjoyed it all :)

* She showed her Wrinkled Ladies song,
* Her version of Romeo and Juliet by Taylor Swift
* She talked about Wabi Sabi. Pared down to its barest essence, wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay, and death. She referenced 2 Corinthiands 4:16 from The Message: Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.
* She has been doing comedy for 10 years, so she shared videos of some of her past successes... Any Kid of Mine, 50 Ways to Lose Your Blubber, are You Lonesome Tonight, Give me a vente Mocha, Her salute to Underwire, I can Smell You Breathe, Right now - before I eat
* Psalm 126:6 from the Message: So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

Mandissa sang some awesome songs, too... several of them brought us to tears...others made us dance! My Deliverer, You Wouldn't Cry, Broken Hallelujah... just to name a few

Saturday morning started with Patsy:

* She said the most important things during a crisis are Prayer and People

* God is enough - But he can work through his people. We can be His arms for a hug, His lips for an encouraging word, His ears just to sit and listen
* You have no idea the impact you make in others lives.
* Change can be good... it may not always seem so at first, that's where we have to trust God
* The greatest human need we have is connection
* NEVER GIVE UP

Lisa Welchel was so fun to hear! She shared a few video clips from The Facts of Life to explain to the younger ones in the audience who she was ;) And then she shared how hard it was for her to chose/make real friends.

* Be aware of their capacity for friendship... can they handle all the stuff you have to dump on them? Or are they the kind of friend that you would go shopping with but not share the deep stuff with?
* How do they talk about other friends when they are with you? That's how they would talk about you when they are with other people
* Run from those who appear to have it all together... NOBODY has it all together...
* We can connect better through our imperfections than through out perfections... she referenced Psalm 107... this whole chapter shares how God will fill the longings of our soul

Stephen Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth Chapman were next. His music was so moving... and their story so sad and yet amazing. A lot of crying and laughing during this part. Love "Cinderella"... but man did the tears flow!

We missed another drama by Nicole Johnson - she apparently did one about a woman who had an abortion but never spoke about it... all the shame and regret and sorrow... I bought her dvd so I can watch that one!

Sandi Patty came out and sang some more. Her vocal range is amazing! and I love how she includes the deaf people in the audience by using Sign Language on We Shall Behold Him

I love Marilyn Meberg. The more I hear her the more I love her wisdom!

* She shared the over the top solution to the "more" craving
* Life as it is, not as we wish it were... we will never have all our "more" needs met in this life.
* She shared a quote from Augustine: We are all restless until we find rest in God
* We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.

I'd love to hear what you got out of Women of Faith... And I'd love for you to come with next year! :)

journaling

2010-10-14T09:19:00.002-05:00

Just can't seem to get into this writing a journal thing... I have this site open every day... I look at it and think... maybe later... drama happens and I think I'm gonna write... drama is resolved and I still haven't written... I guess something is better than nothing...

...maybe I'll write more later...

All Done

2010-10-03T20:13:00.004-05:00

Well... after a week of much drama... its finally done... the guitar player didn't get his music until Wednesday night... had not practiced at all before rehearsal Thursday night... When we finished Thursday I was scared for Sunday. He wasn't going to have much time to practice on his own. And We would try to get one more quick rehearsal in on Saturday night. But... they never called me to let me know they were back in town, so no second rehearsal.

Sunday morning arrives and I catch them when they get to church. Lets rehearse now! We did... I was still worried about a couple songs but we did it. Not one of the best worship services ever, but the best we could do. Gonna have to have a talk with them before they are on the schedule next time!

ARGH!!!

2010-09-30T16:40:00.003-05:00

Ok, I'm back!

Tried venting on Facebook... being as vague as possible... and was told maybe I shouldn't since people could figure out who I was talking about...

...so here I am... a day later... more garbage!!! People who committed to being on the worship team but can't seem to hold up their end of things! I'm so stressed right now! I've had most of the music ready for weeks! And the last of it he should've gotten from Pastor by now but he didn't! So... he picked up some of the music last night and we are supposed to rehearse tonight! In fact, he just called... 2 hours before rehearsal... telling me he hasn't even looked at the music yet... and he isn't that skilled of a player in the first place! How does he think he can pull it together by Sunday Morning? He's got his job tomorrow... and pictures for church... and then He'll be out of town most of Saturday! So this is it! One rehearsal and he doesn't even know the stinking music yet!!!!!!!

What am I supposed to do now??? How do we go on from here? He's an adult!!! Take responsibility for yourself! As the Worship Ministry Leader, I shouldn't have to hold your hand and ask if you've practiced... or even picked up your music!!!! ITS NOT MY JOB!!!!!

And she can't stay on pitch... struggles with staying on the Melody if its too high... and can't find the harmony when its played for her.

They think they're all that! People enjoy listening to them??? I cringe every time they come up on the schedule... I dread giving them chance for special music...

I'm supposed to give everybody an opportunity to share their gifts with God and the congregation... and that is why they are on the team... (grumble, grumble)

FLoods and blizzards

2009-04-01T11:02:00.000-05:00

Just to let you know, Fargo, where I'm from, has been having a massive flood... and just after the river crested we got hit by a massive blizzar Another one on the way...

Growing up!

2009-03-20T08:24:00.001-05:00

My princess turned 4 over the weekend.

Happy Birthday Baby!

2009-02-10T09:52:00.001-06:00

JR turned 1 yesterday! Here's his 6 month picture that I'm finally getting posted.

Still looking

2009-01-29T12:07:00.001-06:00

We found a house we like.. but now we need to get our house ready to sell. All that loan junk... we only qualify for an FHA loan and you can only have one FHA loan at a time. So, we have to sell our house before we can get a different one! The stress of it all!

Bad house

2009-01-12T08:42:00.001-06:00

That house had too much work than what we could handle or afford. We are switching realtor's too. Now, hoepfully things will go more smoothly and we'll find something that is perfect for us.

Bigger and better things!

2009-01-05T08:28:00.002-06:00

I'm so excited! We looked at a bigger house last night! Its almost 3 times bigger than our current one! Its a HUD house but is in really good shape!. A little bit more money than we were hoping, but with God's help we will be able to afford it! :)

Happy new Year!

2009-01-02T07:26:00.003-06:00

Our year ended peacefully.

Jr got another ear infection, but after 24 hours of an agressive dose of antibiotics, it stopped oozing!

The specialist took me off thyroid meds for now and doesn't need to see me again until June. He wants me to get more sleep... I didn't ask him how that was possible with 2 small children...

And my princess had her tonsil's out. The first couple days were really tough as she didn't want to drink anything. But Things look pretty good right now. The scabs should be falling off soon, so we were told to expect a couple bad days...

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T06:59:00.001-06:00

HHere's wishing you and yours a very merry Christmas. Jesus is the reason for the season!

i think we need more apples...

2008-12-11T09:26:00.002-06:00

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away...

Well, JR got tubes in his ears on December 1st. So far things seem to be going well for him other than another cold...

My princess had her pre-op apointment today. Looks good. She should be ready to have her tonsil's and adnoids out on December 29th.

I go to an endochronologist on December 17th. I've been having thyroid issues and we want to discover exactly why and what to do for it.

At my daughter's pre-op I asked our doctor about my own snoring problem and if my tonsil's may have something to do with it. He took a look and thought it might definately be a problem. So, looks like I'll be getting in to my children't ENT sometime soon!

What a life

2008-11-21T08:25:00.002-06:00

Well, Here's what's been going on and what is going to happen...

Two weeks ago my Prince took himself out of the gene pool. We decided 2 kids is enough and he didn't want me to go through another surgery since I've had 2 c-sections.

Last week, my pastor died of stage 4 Colon cancer. He had been handling treatment well, so this was completely unexpected. He was only 46 and left behind 4 children (The oldest is a freshman in college and the youngest I think is in 6th grade).

This past weekend we went to Albertville to see my cousin... and then to Rochester to visit some friends... and then to the Mall of America (the kids loved the Underwater Adventure and Lego Land)... and then to St Cloud to see a friend (she is my Prince's ex-girlfriend). It was a really fun but busy weekend.

JR has been dealing with a ton of ear infections. He is only 9 months old... we have decided to get tubes in his ears... He goes in for surgery December 1st.

I have been overly exhausted and cold lately... yes, i know i have 2 small kids and its winter, but that isn't the problem... I have an appointment with an endocrinologist on December 17th. My last thyroid test showed my hormones to be out of whack so we need to see what the problem is.

After spending a long weekend in hotel rooms with our Princess, we are tired of her loud snoring. I took her to an ENT this week and he says her tonsils are really huge! They could shrink, but might take until she is 12 years old! We don't want her to have to put up with this for the next 9 years, so we are scheduling her for a tonsillectomy.

So... that's our life in a nutshell.

Life goes on...

2008-11-11T10:12:00.003-06:00

Well... its been one thing after another. My prince has been to New York, Miami twice, and Killdeer, ND in addition to other smaller places closer by... Its like being a single parent only not... So, I've taken the kids to my sister's, my parents, and the in-laws.

JR has 2 teeth on the bottom and the two top front ones are starting to show... maybe within the week... He is almost walking... he tries so hard to chase the Princess! So funny!

My princess has finished her first gymnastics class. She loved it so much! We decided the next couple months will be too crazy to continue class, so we'll wait until spring.

I joined the local YMCA... I really want to get back into a better shape than I am, especially since we hope to go to colorado this next year... we hope to do a bunch of hiking and stuff.

This has been a hard week. My prince had a vasectomy Thursday. We've decided two kids were enough especially since they were both c-sections. So the kids stayed at their grandparents for several days. But that's not the hard part (although I missed them a lot!) Thursday morning our Pastor and good friend was found by one of his daughters struggling to breathe. His oldest daughter gave him CPR until the ambulance got there. He went into a coma and never came out. The disconnected life support Saturday and Pastor Miller went to be with His Maker yesterday morning. He was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in April and had been handling the treatments well. This was very sudden and the doctors were not sure what caused his problems. The funeral will be Thursday. This is going to be so hard for his family as well as our church family. Please pray for us!

Second Verse same as the first

2008-10-10T08:47:00.002-05:00

It feels like last fall all over again. My prince is going to be gone most of the next month! Starting the 19th, he will be in Miami, FL until the 24th... then the 27th-29th he'll be in Killdeer, ND... then the 30th-5th he'll be back in Miami! I hate his schedule taking him away from me and the kids so much. we are hoping the kids and I can go to Killdeer with him... We'll see...

And then yesterday I met a woman on Facebook whose husband has been in Iraq since last November and won't be coming home until February... How foolish I feel! Making such a big deal of my Prince being gone when she has been a married/single parent for 11 months!

More of the same

2008-09-29T21:06:00.002-05:00

Well, This past week my prince left for a week in Plattsburg, New York... again! And as soon as he left everything went wrong. My Princess got pink-eye... JR got another ear infection... we all (including me) came down with colds... a good friend of the family died suddenly during the night last night... and I was told by my doctor today that I have a large cyst on my left ovary... Ain't life great!

Here's a picture of happier (and healthier) times.

Getting back in the groove... someday...

2008-08-25T12:47:00.002-05:00

Well, August is almost done and I haven't hardly gotten on this thing yet! Since I wrote last, lots has happened.

We went to the county fair at my hometown the last weekend of July. Then I helped lead VBS at my church. I had the 4th, 5th and 6th graders most the week but filled in the for the k-1st graders on Friday. My princess went in the preschool class for her second year and had so much fun!

That weekend we helped my brother move to Sioux Falls where he started a new job as sous chef ant the Wild Sage grill. So far things are going really well for him there.

JR has started crawling. and he pulls himself up to stand by the furniture whenever possible. Still no teeth...

My prince has been on the road a lot this month. Fortunately I've kept the kids and myself busy by either hanging out at home or going to my sister's house. The kids and I have been having one summer cold after another this month.

This weekend was my 32nd birthday. We went camping at Itasca State Park with my parents. It was perfect weather for it! We took the bikes, but the kids both caught colds, so we left the kids with my folks and got in a bike ride, my prince and I. They have a fire tower you can climb... after a 1/2 mile hike up hill, you climb a 100 foot tower. It was really windy that day and the tower was swaying. I'm scared of heights but the view was definately worth it.

My Prince is gone again this week. and JR has his 6 month appointment on Wednesday. Then we will head out to my sister's for a day or two. Hope your summer was equally fabulous. I'll get some pictures posted one of these days, I promise!

Crazy Summer!

2008-06-08T14:58:00.003-05:00

We went to the annual Jensen family camping trip Memorial weekend at Lac Qui Parle State Park. We had reserved a group site and there were over 20 of us! It was a blast!

We have our 3rd wedding to go to this weekend.

My prince has been out of town alot again. I've used that time to take my kids to my parents and my sister's homes.

My princess is a girly girl who insists on wearing a different dress every day. We've been going to the library weekly and look forward to new books and movies as well as meeting other children.

JR Is 5-1/2 months. He has been teething for quite a while now, but no teeth yet. He is rolling over and has actually started to scoot forward. He can "crawl" only an inch or two forward but travels the hole room backwards!

I've been sick again. I think I'm on the mend finally... but I'm so exhausted all the time that trying to read the princess a story puts me to sleep!

I'm hoping to get back into blogging... It seems like I always have a kid on my lap making typing hard to do...

Ruby Rebel

2008-05-13T19:34:00.004-05:00

I've been reading an interesting blog called Families against Feminism: The Great Debate. On April 8th, 2008, she talked about being a Virtuous Woman (A Ruby Rebel) from Proverbs 31:10. I like what she had to say. You can check it out at http://heartsforfamily.blogspot.com/2008/04/vurtuous-wife-ruby-rebel.html

A lot of nothing

2008-05-13T19:17:00.003-05:00

It seems like there has been tons going on since I logged on last, but yet it was a lot of nothing. The kids have been sick one after another... ear infections, respiratory infections, strep throat. I've been doing therapy for my bad back. The prince is still slaving away... and checking out other options... more on that as it develops!

The prince and I were able to get away for an evening to attend Larry the Cable Guy. I hate to admit it, but a lot of of it was really funny even though it was all picking on somebody's race, weight, politics, sexual orientation or gender... and even one gag where he teased about a "retarded" gang member. What does it say about our society that something like this is so popular? And what does it say about me???

We also got to go to my sister's house one weekend. They have 4 new bottle feeding lambs that we got to play with for a bit (one is crippled and they don't know if it will make it). It was my niece's 10th birthday party. After the party, M and her sisters T & E, had a gymnastics expo. The princess could hardly sit still and desperately wanted to get on the gym floor and do the routines, too. Looks like we'll have to get her signed up this fall...

I'm trying to lose weight again. Previously, I was a mentor at The Lord's Table (Setting Captives Free link on the side of my page) and had lost 35 pounds in a year. Its going to be a little tougher this time as I'm nursing still... but I have faith that God will take control of my eating again and I'll Gain more of Him as I lose some of me!

We also had JR's dedication at our church one Sunday. My folks and the Prince's folks were able to be there. A dedication is not an infant baptism. Its basically just praying for the baby and the family and the church promising to help the family raise the child up to know and love God.

Speaking of church, pray for my pastor. A couple months ago his wife admitted to having an affair with another member of our church. And just in the past couple weeks it was discovered that my pastor has a couple masses in his large intestine, colon, and near his bladder. They haven't found out if they are cancerous yet. The have 4 kids, the oldest graduates from high school in a couple weeks. Its an incredibly messy and stressful situation which I don't want to get into details about, but please pray for them all.

Happy Anniversary to us!

2008-04-21T12:52:00.002-05:00

April 20th my prince and I celebrated our 6th anniversary. Its amazing how God has blessed us through the years. I am looking forward to my future with him. Tonight we are going to the country club my brother is a head chef at for supper. Its our first time going and my brother is an awesome chef!

Birthday party

2008-04-03T09:19:00.003-05:00

Easter weekend we had a birthday party for the Princess. We got a hotel room for my parents so we could go swimming. The Prince's parents came and my sister's family as well as my brother and another friend of mine. My parents had a room with a kitchenette, so it was large enough for all of us to hang out and have pizza. Here are some pictures. I made the cake myself!

Check it out!

2008-03-26T21:19:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite people has just gotten a blog! Patsy Clairmont is so funny! Check her out!

http://www.patsyclairmont-blog.com/

Happy, Happy Birthday , Baby!

2008-03-15T17:34:00.007-05:00

Yesterday (the 14th) was My Princess's birthday. My baby is 3 years old! We took her to sears to get her pictures taken. We were going to have pics with JR, too, but after the first one, he just cried! After pictures we took her shopping at Toys R Us where she got to pick out her present. If you've ever seen "Barbie: Island Princess", she picked a Princess Ro playset... She loves it! and then off to the Dairy Queen for ice cream! No party this weekend, we are going to have family over Easter Saturday.

I'm so glad I decided not to have her party this weekend. I went to the doctor this morning because now I'm sick with a sinus infection!

Enjoy the pics! :)

My crazy life!

2008-03-09T15:55:00.002-05:00

Well, since I wrote last, JR has been taken to the doctor for bronchitis and an upper respiratory infection. He is on his last dose of antibiotic. He also went in for a 1 month check-up and he is now 9 pounds! He is in the 50th percentile for weight for his age.

I also had my Princess in to the doctor with a 103.8 fever. She has an ear infection and swollen glands. So, she is also on antibiotics. My princess turns 3 on the 14th of March!

I have been fighting some cold bug again. I went to bed with my throat starting to hurt last night.

My prince has been fighting a cold too. To top things off, he flies out at 4am Monday for 3 days in Texas for work.

More about delivery

2008-02-23T18:11:00.003-06:00

Well, JR has been home for 3 weeks now. What an adjustment it has been! My Princess adores him and is always wanting to snuggle him and shower him with kisses. My Prince, when work hasn't sent him out of town, is so super helpful with JR and other chores around the house.

We had JR's 2 week checkup last week. Our usual doctor was out of town, so we had a different one. We didn't like him at all! He was concerned that JR hasn't gained weight since being home (he eats all the time and is super cheerful!). Since he wasn't our regular doctor he didn't know (or care once it was mentioned) that our princess was slow to gain weight too! And then, since he was a tiny bit jaundice (It had been improved since even the day before) the doctor insisted on putting JR through the torture of a bili-ruben (spelling?) test. Poor baby!

I went for my check-up on Monday. According to their scale, I only have 10 pounds to go to be at my pre-pregnancy weight!

I decided to go to a lactation specialist this week and had JR weighed on the same scale he was weighed on at birth. Turns out he is right on track and it was just the scale at the clinic was off compared to the original scale.

As promised, here's how the week JR was born progressed to birth! :)My prince had been sent out of town the Tuesday before JR arrived... and he was several hours away... and didn't make it home until 5:30am the following day (it wasn't supposed to be that long of a trip!). So, Friday comes along and due to all his overtime, he stayed home from work. However, at noon he got a call from work and he was sent right back out of town... a couple hours away! I had been feeling good this whole time, so wasn't too concerned when he got home about midnight.

About 2:30am I got up to use the bathroom and no sooner sat down when I felt a "pop"... my water broke with my Princess in the middle of the afternoon at home, so I recognized the feeling but was shocked it happened so conveniently on the toilet! My prince had gone to bed on the couch that night to avoid my worsening snoring (due to a cold and pregnancy). He is a deep sleeper and I had to call to him 3 or 4 times before he came to see what I needed. He was at a loss as to what to do to help! He brought me my phone and I started making calls to find somebody to come stay with the Princess. By 3am a friend made it over to stay the night. A blizzard was on its way, so the in-laws weren't able to make it in to town to help.

We got me settled into my room at the birthing center about 3:30am. I was actually starting to feel contractions! I never felt any with Princess when she was born. They were getting worse, so the nurse checked to see how things were coming. I had only dilated to 1 by 6am and JR hadn't dropped yet! They gave me some morphine which helped the pain, but things just weren't progressing. They decided the safest thing for me would be a second c-section. By this time I was all for it! So much for a v-bac... I didn't want any more pain.

I walked to the OR just before 9am, and at 9:11am I was looking at my beautiful, but quiet, baby boy from across the room. The morphine I had been administered made him to tired to want to breathe on his own. I remember being concerned for him but yet not feeling the normal fear I would have otherwise felt. They gave him a shot of something to counteract the morphine and he screamed! What a beautiful noise! My prince went with JR to the NICU for a few minutes observation. They stitched me and glued me shut and wheeled me back to my room. Shortly I was joined by my hubby and our beautiful bundle.

precious

2008-02-23T17:56:00.003-06:00

Just 3 days old.

Meet our newest addition!

2008-02-13T19:27:00.002-06:00

JR was born on February 9th at 9:11 am via c-section. He was 7 lbs 13.3 oz and 20 inches long. He had a little trouble in the beginning as the morphine I had been given made him so lethargic he didn't want to breathe on his own. The NICU gave him a shot of something to counteract the morphine. As soon as the shot got into his system, he was fine and has been doing good ever since.

The rest of the story later!

No changes - 37 weeks

2008-02-05T09:53:00.000-06:00

Well, I had a doctor appointment yesterday. It went well. I had her check if I was dilating yet, and I'm not, which is a relief as my prince is about 4 hours away today. Baby is getting big. I'm scheduled for another ultrasound on Tuesday next week to check baby's size. I'm also seeing a regular OB instead of my midwife to make sure my body can handle a vaginal after having a c-section last time.

Rough weekend

2008-02-03T14:30:00.000-06:00

Well, I was feeling pretty good until mid morning on Friday. I started getting really bad cramps in my back and alot of tightening in my stomach. We took of for the in-laws anyway so we could be there for Grandpa's visitation at the funeral home that evening. The whole ride there was agony. We even had to stop halfway there (about 25 minutes into a 45 minute drive) so I could get out and stretch and use the bathroom. We got to Prince's parents and he rubbed my back a while. It helped some... but the cramping came back. On our way to the funeral home, I called the birthing center where I plan on having baby. After telling them my symptoms and and asking a few questions, they almost wanted me to come right in! I told them where I was and why and they decided that I should do my best to relax and go lay down as soon as possible. It was probably stress of the weekend causing my issues. So, we went to the funeral home but didn't stay the entire time. Instead we went to our hotel and got to bed early. One thing that the nurses said that have me stressed is that the midwife I attend should have had me see a regular doctor to get me approved to have a vaginal birth after having had a c-section. I haven't had that yet and didn't know it was necessary! Luckily, I see my midwife on Monday and can ask her about that. The nurses says they usually don't want you to have cramping/contractions with c-sections if possible. I can completely understand as miserable as I was feeling.

Well, Saturday I got up feeling much better and had much fewer cramps. Still some tightening of my stomach, but I survived the day. The funeral was very nice and it was fun visiting with all the relatives. We spent most of the day at the church and headed home instead of back to the in-laws. I got another early nights sleep and have been feeling mostly good today. I few spots on my tummy that pull that hadn't pulled before, but otherwise not to bad.

I'm 37 weeks today, and my Princess was born at 37 weeks... so anytime would be good. HOping to get a new picture posted in the next day or two as my tummy is again changing shapes and sizes.

Sadness with joy

2008-01-29T13:58:00.000-06:00

This morning my Prince's grandfather passed away. He was 96. He has lived in a nursing home for several years but this past week seemed to go steadily down hill. He was a feisty full-blooded Norwegian. I remember the day I met him. He was sitting at the kitchen table at their little, old country farm house. He teased me from the moment we met and always made me feel like I belonged with their family. Even in the nursing home as his speech and memories started to fail him, his face would light up when he saw me. He gave his life to Christ a couple years ago, so I know I'll see him again. That is where the joy comes. And my Princess has had a chance to get to know him and love him, too. That makes me happy as most of my great-grandparents were deceased before I was born. My Prince was very close with his Grandpa and is saddened but relieved that his Grandpa is now free of his old body. The funeral is Saturday. I am waiting to hear back from my doctor if it will be ok for me to travel to the funeral.

Gilman, you will be missed.

Update: I've been approved for travel so unless something changes, I will be attending the funeral Saturday.

36 weeks

2008-01-28T07:26:00.001-06:00

Well, I'm getting bigger and closer to my due date. I had a touch of some bug yesterday. knocked me totally out of commission. I even ended up going in to my doctor although my appointment wasn't scheduled until Wednesday. Baby is good. Heart rate 156... pointed the right direction (hopefully won't decide to try for breech). I'm doing well, now... I got a ton of sleep last night and feel so much better than yesterday.

My prince is going out of town on another overnight trip tomorrow. He told his boss no more as of January 31st, so I hope his boss will be understanding. It doesn't look like travel will ease up for my Prince after baby comes, either. The other coworker who does what he does put in his 2 weeks notice last week leaving only my hubby for these long trips out of town.

Gone again

2008-01-22T14:12:00.000-06:00

My prince is gone again. He left early this morning but should hopefully be back before I go to bed tonight. But he leaves again tomorrow morning for an overnight trip. I admitted to him this morning that my biggest fear/worry is that I'll be out running an errand alone with Princess and my water will break. Especially with him far away. All these trips this week are atleast 4 hours away... Princess was born just over 4 hours after my water broke (born by c-section)...

speaking of my prince's work... Things are about to get crazier. 2 of his coworkers have left or put in their 2 week notice as of this week. This is going to make his job harder and will mean his boss will have to try and pick up some of the slack, which usually means problems and more complication. Keep praying that something will open up somewhere else for My Prince soon!

Some graphic content

2008-01-17T07:57:00.000-06:00

Well, I had my doctor appointment yesterday. After telling her about my trip to the hospital a week and a half ago, she wanted to check me out for a vaginal infection... you thought a speculum was bad... wait until you are 34-1/2 weeks pregnant! The good news is no infection. The bad news is they still haven't decided exactly why or what fluids I'm leaking. They also did the group B strep test so they could get the results back before baby is born since Princess came early. Really gross...

...anyway... baby is doing good. Heartbeat was strong at 156. I'm now measuring 36cm (I was 33 two weeks ago). I actually lost 1/2 pound in the past 2 weeks (it helps being sick, I guess).

More good news... My prince will be home from New York today! And My Princess is coming home from 4 days at Grandma's house today! It was a nice quite week without them both, but lonely, too. I missed them. Nothing is so sweet as hearing your almost 3 year old say "I miss you too!" on the telephone.

Week 33

2008-01-10T09:46:00.001-06:00

Looking at this picture, I feel I have grown immense since the last photo! My next doctor appointment is next Wednesday (the 16th) so we'll see how I measure up then!

What a life!

2008-01-09T09:44:00.000-06:00

Ok... so life is pretty good right now. I'm feeling much better than I had been. Its been tough getting adjusted to my anti-depressants. I'm finding they make me really drowsy, so I'm going to start taking them at bedtime in hopes that they'll help me sleep better!

My Princess is making some good adjustments to my new state of health. I can't really left her that easily anymore, so she gets to jump anytime she wants to get on my lap. That makes it fun for her and the upward momentum makes it easier to pick her up. Next week when my Prince is back in New York, my dear mother-in-law is going to take my Princess to her house so I can get some rest and less stress.

Speaking of my Prince... he informed me last night that his boss wants to send him to Montana for a few days soon... His boss has been informed that he doesn't want to leave the area as of January 31st since I'm getting close and Princess was born early. Well, the sooner he goes the better. I don't know how long this baby is going to hold out!

My Prince has been absolutely wonderful since we got home Sunday, too! He has been doing dishes and taking care of Princess as well as being super helpful and supportive of me. I'm doing what I can for him, which at this time isn't much... but I need to find some way to show him how much I appreciate him and all he is doing for me. He has even given up the bed for me right now (in addition to other things...).

Prayer request

2008-01-06T21:01:00.000-06:00

Hi all! What a weekend it has been!

Thursday I went to my church for a meeting with my pastor about a Bible Study my Prince and I would like to be a part of the leadership. We had just finished when my friend Jan, who helps me decorate the church sanctuary, called to see if I wanted to take down Christmas decorations. I was feeling good, had a sitter and no other plans, so we did!

We were just about done when my sister called and said she was coming to town. She was going to take my Princess and I to her house for the weekend since my prince was going to be stuck out of town until late on Friday. My family was gathering at her house for one last Christmas celebration. Well, after getting home from the church and packing, I felt horrible. Exhausted and like I was going to be sick. My sister has had 4 kids and didn't really want to leave me home alone with my toddler if I was sick, so we went with her.

We got to her house and of course I had to pee... but when I stood up, I discovered my jeans were damp! Great! I'm an hour from my doctor! Maybe it was sweat as her van has heated seats... or maybe I spilt more club soda on my lap than I thought I did. The fear and worry made me feel worse so I called my doctor. Since I wasn't still leaking, he wanted me to try and drink something and eat a cracker and cheese to see if it would stay down. I did my best... and it stayed down, so I thought maybe I just needed sleep. I called him back and he agreed... get rest, lots of it! Thankfully, my sisters oldest (she is 9) happily helped me get My Princess ready for bed.

The next morning I was still feeling weird, but better in a way. But after being up just a short time, I discovered my jeans were damp again. I had a little breakfast, a decent (yet small)lunch and did as little as possible all day. By evening I was feeling kind yucky again. My neice helped get Princess ready for bed. I didn't sleep well that night. Had a weird pain in my side.

When I woke up Saturday morning, I felt horrible! I even threw up a little. I didn't have much in me, which was good. I felt slightly better after that and nibbled graham crackers and drank club soda or ginger ale all day. I managed a little lunch and even a little supper, but by supper time, I noticed damp jeans yet again and decided to call the doctor again. I spoke with a nurse at the birthing center and she decided it would be best for me to come in as soon as possible just to make sure my water hadn't broke. So, My prince and I left my sister's house (and my Princess!) to go to the hospital. On the way there, He held my hand and prayed for me and the baby which made me feel better. Then I made a couple phone calls to people at church to give them a heads up on what was happening. (Jan and I were supposed to finish taking down the decoration son Monday!)

After registering and getting taken up to my room, we waited and I got hooked up to monitors. Baby was very active. Heartbeat was great! My blood pressure was good. They took a urine sample because they were suspicious of a bladder infection, but thankfully that was negative. The test for amniotic fluid was also negative. After talking to the doctor on call, she decided what probably was the case is that baby is at a phase where it wants glucose all the time. If I'm not eating often enough or staying hydrated enough baby takes my supply of glucose leaving me weak and icky feeling. She gave me a glucose iv and sent me home. Since it was already 10:30pm and takes an hour to get back to my sister's, we decided to just go back to our house so I could get a good nights sleep.

This morning I managed to eat a little and drink a little and although I was super tired still, I felt good enough to head back to my sister's house. Princess had done fairly well without us... of course she had Grandma and Grandpa, a couple aunts and several cousins taking care of her!

We ended up have a great day. I am wearing liners to keep from getting too wet (baby is causing too much pressure on my bladder is what they think). But I was able to enjoy most of the food my younger brother (the Chef) prepared. It was wonderful! I slept all the way home. This evening I started feeling weak and sleepy again but My prince was wonderful! Without me asking he went and got me some graham crackers! :)

I'm not looking forward to the week starting. Galen is supposed to be around all week... and his mom may even come to town tomorrow... but I dread feeling worn out and watching Dinah alone. I don't have the energy to fight with her... Pray for me!

BTW, I started taking anti-depressants Thursday, too... Hope they kick in soon!

Some discomfort

2008-01-02T13:48:00.000-06:00

Well, I should have asked around long before now, but just assumed it was nothing. Apparently I've had some Braxton-Hicks contractions for several weeks now. I just thought the baby was pushing on me or something because it always seemed to happen when I stood up from a comfortable position. Its never been painful, just tight and uncomfortable.

I had a doctors appointment today. All is well! Baby is pointed head down. Heart beat at 140. I'm measuring 34 which she says is a little big, but nothing to be concerned over. I go back in 2 weeks for my next appointment.

My prince is going out of town again! He leaves tomorrow morning and won't be back until sometime Friday evening... He'll still be in North Dakota, but opposite ends of the state! Then, in two weeks he leaves Monday (14th)and returns Thrusday(17th)... back out to New York! Better be a quick trip! I don't want to have this baby without him there!

I've decided I should go back on antidepressants, but forgot to mention that to my doctor today. better go give her a call! I've been on the low end of the spectrum for weeks now and since I had post-partum after the Princess was born, I want to be prepared for this one!

week 32

2007-12-31T06:18:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are at week 32. They say the baby is developed enough to be born safely by week 35 although most aren't born until week 40. My princess was born at 37 weeks. They say the second one generally comes faster/easier than the first... so... 3 weeks or more and baby will be here! I can't hardly wait! I've come down with an awful cold this weekend and haven't slept well for months!

How I met my Knight

2007-12-30T15:41:00.000-06:00

So, after on bad relationship after another, I finally gave up looking. I told God I was just out to have fun if and He wanted me to meet somebody that He would have to make it happen. When Laura invited me to go skating again, I decided why not? I still had some friends that went and it would be fun to see them.

Earlier that day, I had been monkeying with my "day-by-day" calendar. You know how if you don't tear the page off just right it starts leaving that messy ridge of glue/paper... well, I decided I was going to clean my calendar with my exacto knife... my new, sharp exacto knife... while sitting at my computer... no cutting board... sharp things don't like me... they always find a way to draw blood.. The joke around my family is if you lost a needle in a haystack, just let me loose barefooted and I'd be sure to find it! So, sitting there in my favorite jeans I went to work at the calendar... and the blade slipped... right through my jeans leaving a nice deep gouge in my thigh...

I decided to grin and bear it and go skating that evening afterall. Still wearing my favorite jeans with the new hole in the thigh, I met Laura at the rink. After a skating a few songs I decided to sit and rest. Several others were sitting down, too... I think it was a couples song and none of us were coupled off... yet...

I hadn't talked to Laura much yet and hadn't told her about my leg, so as we sat with a couple friends and this handsome mystery man (my knight) I shared with them that I had gouged my leg, ruining my pants. My Knight asked, "why'd you do that?" Sarcasm and straight faced humor runs in my family, so without even thinking I said, completely deadpanned,"Because I like the feel of pain and the sight of blood."

You'd think that would have scared him away, but instead it intrigued him. The following week we had our first date! We drove for 4 hours to take my neice from her dad's house to my brother's place. I can't drive long distances alone as I get sleepy behind the wheel. My knight was willing to drive with us. After dropping of my neice, we talked the whole way back, sharing our histories... yes, pretty much every bit of it. Like I told God, I was done looking so if this guy was going to be the one, I didn't want him to come in and be broadsided by my baggage. One month later, I told him that I hope I wouldn't scare him away, but I loved him. Four months later my Knight gave me an engagement ring. Eight months later we were married (almost exactly 1 year from the day we met.

My knight in shining armor

2007-12-28T13:31:00.000-06:00

My favorite movie of all time has got to be White Christmas. DH and I watched it the other night. I know its not always safe having the Knight up on that horse because he can fall off, but more than once I've thought how DH was my Knight. I think from this point on, I will refer to him as My Knight instead of DH(dear hubby)... Here's a synopsis of my life in the past 14 or so years that shows how My Knight rescued me from me and my path of destruction...

Growing up, living on a dairy farm in the middle of nowhere, I often felt alone and neglected... unloved even... because as a teen, I couldn't go places or do things other teens did. The cows came first for everybody whether we liked it or not.

I graduated high school and moved to the MSU campus. 20 minutes away lived close family friends that I hadn't gotten to know well yet (they grew up with my mom). Their son, Joe, was a couple years younger than me. From the moment I laid eyes on him I was smitten. He made me feel gorgeous all the time. Not having felt special to anybody before, I allowed too much to happen and my life revolved around him. Physical things meant love and security to me. And once I let things slide so far, I didn't know I was allowed to make it stop.

So, when the school year ended, I went home for the summer. My sister was getting married after spending a year at Bible College in Canada. Many of her friend (several who I had met and had crushes on) came to her wedding. In that one afternoon I decided I had to get away from Joe and MSU and go to that school in Canada. I needed to find a BETTER kind of love... one without so much guilt.

I didn't break up with Joe until later in the fall while I was in Canada. By that time I had met several local boys there who made me realize maybe I wasn't ready to settle for Joe. Then I met Died're (His full name was Deitrich). He was 10 years older than me and a deacon at this Full Gospel (pentacostal) church. This was everything I thought I needed. A Christian man. A leader. and then it started all over again. Abuse... verbal, emotional, sexual... I wasn't skinny enough for him (5'3" and 125 lbs)... He would try to force me to touch him and would "inspect" me... I always felt dirty around him... He told me it was God's will for us to be together and since he was an older, man of God, I believed him... We were engaged quickly and as soon as school finished I moved home to save money for us to get married and for me to move to Canada.

While working at the grocery store in TRF, I met Elvis, who I mentioned in an earlier post. In spite of his faults, he was a rock for me when I realized things with Died're weren't how they should be and I could do better. It was hard for me to break off that relationship... but it was wonderful to have a friend like Elvis to help me see that I was everything Died're didn't think I was and I had no reason to change.

My relationship with Elvis was rocky at best. We had lots of good times, but things weren't always that way. His family loyalty caused problems (not that I didn't want him to be with his family, but that his family tried to rule his life and he let them)... as did the drugs and alcohol. He gave me my first drink... and although I got lots of buzzes being around him from the pot smoke, he wouldn't allow me to try it because he didn't want me to get addicted. His jealousy was another problem. I realized that the night he had too much to drink and flipped out over a phone number on my list by the phone. He punched a hole in my wall! That was when I knew I had to get out.

I still loved him and wanted him to change... wanted to be there for him... but I knew I couldn't stay in the relationship as is. He didn't want me to leave him and as much as I asked him to stay away, he wouldn't. He sent me flowers at work and left me notes at home. I eventually got a restraining order on him. Then his mom started working where I worked (she was a janitor) and I felt she was keeping tabs on me for him. I couldn't take it any more and moved to Moorhead to live with my 2 brothers.

Throughout this time, I had stopped going to church because I knew I wasn't living right and hated who I had become. I felt judged and pitied by everybody there. But I was starting over. I started going to Bethel (the largest Evangelical Free Church in the area) as it was the same type church I grew up in. It was in the Singles Sunday School class that I met Nathan.

He was nice and funny and kind... but he had kidney problems for most of his life since an accident. I took care of him when he didn't feel well and helped him clean up when he had an accident (apparently connected to the kidney problems). He was really naive in many ways. Our relationship was never physical, which was refreshing to not have that pressure. He got me into roller skating which is where I saw My Knight for the first time (although i didn't meet him until a few years later). I don't remember exactly what happened, but something was definately not right. I remember breaking up with him. I remember him saying something about us women all being the same (don't remember what he meant by that) and I remember telling him that if we all broke up with him for the same reasons then maybe we weren't the ones with the problems but he was! I stopped attending church because that's where he was...

I don't remember how it happened, but I got reconnected with an old boyfriend Craig who had hated me for a while... we worked together TRF but he was married and was convinced I was evil or something. Anyway, we started talking and made up (he blames his wife at the time). Because of my desire to be loved and the feeling that physical love was better than no love, our relationship was faster than it should have been... especially since his divorce wasn't official yet. I won't get into the lies he told me to keep me coming back, they aren't important... but I eventually broke up with him also... like Elvis, he didn't want to let go... I just about got a restraining order on him, too, but he finally backed off.

Well, with one bad relationship after another, I went to chat rooms and tried everything to meet "the one". I even had some one-night-stands for which I'm not proud of. I was constantly trying to fill that void with things that would destroy me. Alcohol was a problem... and depression. I finally gave up trying to find a man which was the best thing I could ever do.

My friend, Laura, who I had met through Nathan, convinced me to go back roller skating with her. It had been a couple years and Nathan had apparently moved to California. So, I did. My first time back and I met My Knight.

to be continued...

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T11:17:00.000-06:00

Hello all and Merry Christmas! (Names have been changed to hide our true identity... my Dear Hubby didn't like I had used real names so He asked me to change things a little.)

Hope this year find you all doing well. It has been another crazy year for our family!

DD is almost 3 years old. What a drama queen! She loves to sing and dance. She is very much a princess. She can recite her alphabet and count to 20 without any help (most of the time). What a clown! When asked what she wants for Christmas this year she said, "Presents."

DH has been working for Sweeney Controls for 8 years now. They have gotten a contract that has caused Galen to do a lot more traveling this year than ever before. Since January, he has been to Plattsburgh NY twice, Burlington VT, Orlando FL, Fort Dodge IA, Norfolk NE, Toledo OH, White Plains NY, Lawrence NY, and Manchester NH in addition to the hundred or more cities in the tri-state area. This fall he was gone so long that DD and I FLEW to New York for a long weekend so we could spend a little time with him.

My year has felt like a single mother with DH gone so much. Without the support of my friends and family I don't know how I would have survived DD's terrible twos! In addition to raising her, We are expecting baby 2 in February. It has been an uneventful pregnancy for which I am so thankful. I worked part-time from home for a friend doing bookkeeping for most of the year. I really enjoyed the challenge and was sad when my services were no longer needed.

As a family, this has been a good year. We were able to take a long vacation to Colorado to visit DH's sister and her husband. We went on the annual Jensen family camping trip held at Lake Shetek State Park (MN). And we took a long weekend and went camping with friends in Two Harbors, MN. We even managed to find time to get our house painted... well, I did with the help of friends and family as DH spent most of this fall on the road.

Up in Warren, my Grandpa passed away in May. Grandma is doing well and still living in her apartment. I got to spend a couple days visiting with her a few weeks ago. My Mom and Dad are doing great! They spent a lot of time camping and fishing this summer, visiting several Minnesota State Parks. In Pelican Rapids, DH's Grandpa is doing well and he keeps hanging in there. DH's Mom and Dad are doing great too! They've spent a lot of time with Grandkids and have put the business up for sale as they prepare for retirement.

In the coming year, we look forward to the new arrival in our family and may start looking for a bigger house to accommodate our growing family!

Hope your year was as happy and blessed as ours!

PS: Just got back from my parents and celebrating my Grandma's 87th birthday. There were over 30 of us kids, grandkids and great grandkids there to celebrate. We also had our first of 4 Christmas's with my parents, sister's family and younger brother. Last night DD, DH and I opened presents at home. The coming weeks have us celebrating Christmas 2 more times, once with DH's family and once with the rest of my family.

Tantrums

2007-12-14T08:09:00.000-06:00

OK... I've been dealing with DD's tantrum's for several months now and they aren't letting up... getting worse if anything.

MY question for all you out there in cyberspace... what do you do to control your child's tantrums. My attempts obviously aren't working. and it definately doesn't help that DH is out of town almost all the time! (At least once a day she says "Where's my daddy?" and when I say he is at work she says, "But I want him.")

It doesn't help that I'm hormonal and emotional, either...

babysitting

2007-12-13T08:05:00.000-06:00

I watched my close friend's 1 year old for a few hours today as her daycare had a sick kid. what a change! First of all, it was a little boy (don't have much experience with little boys...) Secondly, for being just over a year old, he certainly wasn't little! DD weighs 26 pounds on a good day... I didn't ask how much Colton is up to, but I swear he has to be atleast 5-10 pounds heavier than she is... and completely solid! He was so much harder to hold and carry than Dinah!

I couldn't get him to take his afternoon nap as he was still unsure about where he was (never been to our house before). So, DD was my helper. she would get his bottle off the table in the kitchen, and his diaper bag. I had him on the living room floor changing his pants, and he was whining and cranky... poor kid! All of a sudden DD just started singing some nonsense song sweetly to him and he just laid there still as can be, watching her. It was so sweet!

I thing she will be a great big sister!

The door is closing

2007-12-12T07:40:00.001-06:00

DH got a call yesterday from Staples. they finally started interviewing and one of the guys had all the licensing they wanted. They need to finish checking out the applicant before he is officially hired, so they probably won't even interview DH. I won't say the door is completely shut, but its getting there.

I'm saddened by this and yet relieved for some sort of closure. I really want DH in a more regular type job that will allow him to be home nights and weekends (compared to his schedule in recent months). But I'm also relieved I don't have to think about moving 2 hours away in the winter when I'm 7 months pregnant!

Keep praying for this, though. DH still has options locally that I think he is keeping from me so I don't over-pressure him too much. (His best friend asked me if DH heard anymore from one place the other night and I had no clue it was still an option!)

Brought tears to my eyes...

2007-12-08T15:46:00.000-06:00

good news!

2007-12-06T12:14:00.000-06:00

DH got a call from Staples yesterday! They are interested in setting up time for an interview (finally!)... and they are willing to consider a Saturday interview since DH's work schedule during the week is keeping him so busy! Pray that if this is God's will for us, that Saturday interview time will be fine. And, if he, I mean, WHEN he gets the job that baby will wait to arrive until after we move!

Kids say the funniest things!

2007-12-03T10:25:00.000-06:00

DD and I were at my chiropractor appointment this morning. She was being a good girl while I was getting worked on. My Doc and her have a great relationship. He was visiting with her and asked her what she wanted for Christmas... She said, "I want presents."

Devotional from Christian Women Online

2007-12-02T13:45:00.000-06:00

I wanted to share with you a neat devotional/story I read this morning. It is so in-line with what I learned as a part of The Lord's Table at SettingCaptivesFree.com and so it has lots of meaning for me. Here's the link: http://www.christianwomenonline.net/live_well.html#DarleneDecember

And Here's the story:
Touch not; Taste not; Handle not
Darlene Schacht, December 2007

It is commonly said that diets don’t work. On their own, I’d have to agree, but when coupled with conviction, I tend to believe that we’d find a serious bend in that rule. Conviction is the very thing that fuels your plan of action, and makes it a lifestyle change.

Take two different children, with two different mothers, and stand them side-by-side in a china shop. One may be able to stand still without a problem for 5 minutes or more, while the other may need restraints before 30 seconds are up. Both have been given the same rules—"stand still and don’t touch." One has been trained to yield to the voice of reason. He understands the consequences of his actions and is led by conviction. If I do A—B will happen—and I don’t like B. The other does as he pleases, because either he isn’t trained to consider the result of his actions, or he isn’t convinced that B is such a bad thing. Unfortunately, many adults, like untrained children, still behave this way as they are led by their whim.

A man sitting face to face with a doctor who tells him, “change your diet or you won’t see retirement,” is suddenly able to make life changes he never could before. What if the same man was told that if he doesn’t change his eating habits, he might gain 30 pounds? Do you think the result would be worth the change? Perhaps, but in most cases it’s not, as society is aware of this very thing, but chooses to ignore it. Conviction is the key to sticking to the plan, and without it, the plan usually has a way of falling apart.

A couple of months ago, I picked my father up from the clinic where he had just undergone an eye operation. I met him by the nurse’s desk, then ushered him out to the car. After telling me about the nurses he met and all of the jokes that he told, he mentioned something that really stuck with me. He said that he had to close his eyes for ten minutes. It sounded easy enough to do, but apparently it wasn’t. Dad said that the fact that he couldn’t open his eyes was the very thing that made him want to open his eyes so badly. Of course he didn’t, since the nurse warned that the freezing wouldn’t be affective if he did. But what if he had nothing to lose? What if I asked you to close your eyes for the next ten minutes, regardless of what happens? The phone might ring, someone might come to the door, or you may get nervous about the noises around you. Try it—see if you last ten minutes. Most won't.

This is the same affect that diets have on us. The moment we say, “Do not eat” we want nothing more than to eat all we can. I laughed with a friend one day, who wrote something like this:

I started a diet today, and this is what I ate:

1 slice of whole-wheat toast with a half a banana for breakfast
A tossed salad for lunch with a diet cola on the side
1 skinless breast of chicken sprinkled with salt and pepper along with a cup of rice for dinner
Another cup of rice, another skinless chicken breast floating in bar-b-q sauce for dinner
An ice cream bar
A bag of chips
5 pieces of cheese with crackers
A chocolate bar
2 pieces of licorice
A glass of milk
And another ice cream bar...

You get the point? Somewhere around dinner time, she fell apart.

The more rules we impose on ourselves, the more we desperately want to break free of them. The moment we leave the door open to human error, we jump at the chance for freedom, and another iced cream sandwich or two.

The way to break free from this pattern of eating is to couple the rules of the diet with conviction. We need to train our souls to listen and yield to the voice of wisdom. My all time favorite Bible verse for dieting is 1 Corinthians 6:12:

“Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.”

I don’t usually use the Message translation when quoting, but I loved the way it spelled out the point, “I’d be a slave to my whims.” For me all food is permissible, I consider the variety of wonderful food we have as a gift from our Lord, but with that said, I also believe that glorifying it to be something more than it is, is not profitable to my hips or my spirit.

Like a child in a china shop, my heart needs to be to be trained to listen to the voice of wisdom when it says “You’ve had enough;” to understand the depth of the consequences, and to know that doing what I want on a whim is not an option.

There’s nothing wrong with rules, in fact many rules are there to save our life, but telling someone to live according to them, and giving her a reason to live that way, are two entirely different things. One is preaching, the other is teaching. I’m not referring to the rules “Touch not; taste not; handle not;” of Colossians 2:21, which are based on commandments and doctrines of men. I’m talking about boundaries that keep us in good conscience with God as we yield to wisdom. “And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.” Acts 24:16.

It’s the yielding to understanding and wisdom that protects us from following the lust of the flesh. Believing that the consequence is not an option is the mindset that keeps us on the right track.

So how do we accomplish this? It’s a three-step program that I’ve mentioned before, and I’ll probably mention several times more—listen…gain wisdom…guide.

Disciplining our bodies, like disciplining our children, is about teaching one to live in accordance with boundaries. Look up discipline in the dictionary, and you’ll see several different ways of saying, “learning to stick to the rules.”

Dictionary.com defines it this way: “Training to act in accordance with rules.”

In 1 Corinthians 9:27, Paul writes, “But I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” NAS

That’s quite a contrast to those Paul mentioned earlier who are a slave to their “whim.” Discipline is key. Consider your lifestyle and ask yourself these questions:

Are you a slave to your desires, or do you consider what is best and live accordingly?
Have you set guidelines for yourself to follow?
If you have set guidelines, have you given yourself good reason to stick to the plan?

If you have set guidelines for health and lifestyle, at some point you will feel the sting of your choice. Discipline isn’t fun, in fact Hebrews 12:11 tells us that it’s grievous, but it also promises that you will enjoy the peace it brings to your life—later on. Are you willing to wait, or will you bail the first chance that you get?

Let’s look deeper at the word “discipline” What is a disciple? It’s one who is a learner, a follower, a student; such as the Disciples of Christ. So in our case if our bodies are disciples, then what or who is the teacher? The answer is the Spirit, which we have received in Christ.

Remember Romans chapter 7? If you haven’t read it in a while, try getting into it today. As one who struggles with a lust for overindulging, I can relate to Paul when in verse 18 he writes, “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” Does that sound familiar, ladies? Whether we struggle with addiction to porn, alcoholism, smoking, or overeating, most of us will agree that the will to quit is there, but we don’t have the gumption to grab hold of, and stick to the plan, or to put it bluntly--to refrain from our sin. The reason that our bodies are so naughty at times is because of the carnal nature we’re born with. The heart, which consists of our lust and desires, is deceitful above all things, and it leads our body into all kinds of trouble--if we let it.

How often has the desire of your heart whispered a lie in your ear? Just one peek won’t hurt. Just one drink won’t affect you. Buy one last pack of smokes--you deserve it. Just one more night of overeating, and you’ll be back on track tomorrow... This carnal mind is not subject to the law of God; it lives to please the flesh and the flesh alone.

Paul says, “O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” Romans 7:24 & 25

Paul shows us the difference there, and the choice we have to make. Are you choosing to serve God by walking according to the Spirit, or are you choosing to follow your heart?

This month, set aside some quiet time to write a letter to yourself. Let God in on this too. It may take one letter—it may take a few. Prayerfully consider the changes that you’d like to see in your life, and the reason you’d like to see change. This letter is for your eyes only, so feel free to hide it or tear it up later. The important exercise here is that you decide what is good and why it’s important to you, before you continue this journey.

I’ve met countless women who have stepped into a diet for the sole purpose of “getting healthy.” However, when they discover that the needle on the scale isn’t willing to budge, they quickly step back. If we desire to lose weight, we need to be honest with ourselves, and to realize that a desire to look good isn’t an unhealthy thought. It’s normal and one that God understands. Remember that He is the one who painted the butterflies, dotted the ladybugs and put lights in the back of little night flies. He’s the author of perfection and beauty, and He’s perfecting you too.

Whatever it is that you desire to change, consider it well, and realize your need. Enjoy a little soul searching, ladies; till next month, Live Well!

Update

2007-11-30T15:35:00.000-06:00

Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes. We are all feeling much better.

DH didn't go to Tulsa this week... don't know if he will be now... But Monday he leaves for Lennox, SD... for the whole week!

And for those who don't know, a V-BAC is Vaginal Birth after C-section. Its safe for most people and according to my doctor I should be perfectly fine... I just guess I can get worried over the littlest things. I'm scared of pain!

sick - gross content

2007-11-27T09:52:00.000-06:00

I have never felt so miserable in all my life! I was either on the couch half asleep, in bed or on the toilet from about noon yesterday until 7:30 this morning! Whatever bug DD had over Thanksgiving, she gave it to me and it had me "running"... and the pain! I never felt any of the contractions with Dinah, but if they are anywhere as awful as what I felt, give me another c-section with tons of medication! Well, DH took care of DD for me from the time he got home from work, so I went to bed and stayed there as much as my stomach would allow. Praise God for Imodium! I feel so much better this morning! Not 100% normal, but enough to function. DH stayed home a couple extra hours this morning to see how I'd function and get DD up for the day.

Just a quick prayer request... I have been going back and forth for a few months now whether I should go for another c-section or if I should have a V-BAC. Any readers out there have there input, I'd be happy to hear it!

Week 27 pic

2007-11-26T09:04:00.000-06:00

Well, I don't like this photo much, but it shows where I'm at as of last night.. Please ignore my pajamas... and my hair... and the tired look on my face... DD and I were both sick most of the long weekend (she was worse than I was but that tired me out!)...

Registered

2007-11-25T10:26:00.000-06:00

I've had a couple people ask if we were registering for baby gifts this time around. So, I registered at Walmart.com. Normally, Walmart wouldn't be a top choice for us, but after DH read this article, we decided to support the "buy-cott" at Walmart.

http://www.afa.net/emails/transform.asp?x=walmart_112107&s=browser&y=2007&m=11

and in other good news, DH doesn't have to go to Tulsa today! :)

2nd Ultrasound

2007-11-20T21:25:00.000-06:00

Hi Everybody!

first, DH called Staples but the guy he needed to talk to wasn't there. He said that when they do interviews the want a couple guys from the board their too, so they have several people's schedules to get coordinated.

Had my second ultrasound today. Galen couldn't make it and I couldn't find a sitter, so I had DD with... not the easiest task, but she did alright. Everything looks good right now. Here are the newest pics.

Will it ever end?

2007-11-20T11:45:00.000-06:00

Well, looks like DH is leaving... AGAIN! He's taking off Monday morning for Tulsa... coming home Wednesday night... and then the following week he will be in Lennox, SD for 4 days! He's calling Staples today to see if they would like to see him tomorrow... PRAY HARD!

Frustrated again

2007-11-15T08:24:00.000-06:00

I just don't get how things work at DH's job. As of WEdnesday night, He still didn't know if he would be coming home Friday evening or if his boss was sending him to New Hampshire to return home on Sunday evening. How can a company be run that way? Well, atleast his boss is going to give him the day before and the day after Thanksgiving off. It will be nice to have him home for a long weekend... especially since he'll be spending 4 days the beginning of December somewhere in South Dakota on another project!

Pictures from New York - Sunday site seeing

2007-11-12T07:58:00.001-06:00

Statue of Liberty on our way to and from Staten Island. Peacock at the Staten Island zoo. Family pic taken at the zoo. DD on a pony at the zoo.

Pictures of New York - Saturday site

2007-11-12T07:54:00.001-06:00

DD riding the magic School Bus at the New York Hall of Science

Pictures from New york - Friday site seeing

2007-11-12T07:33:00.000-06:00

Ceiling at Grand Central Station. Central park fountain I mentioned visiting.

About New York

2007-11-11T16:17:00.001-06:00

Thursday: We hopped on the plane in Fargo. DD was really good. We made it to Minneapolis for our flight change and the stewards were so nice. They flagged down a driver to take us to our next gate since I was pregnant and hauling so much stuff including DD. The flight to New York was longer and DD got a little stir crazy. And of course, right when she had to go poop we hit turbulence and never made it to the bathroom! airplane bathroom would have been too small for the two of us anyways. We made it to JFK and DH met us outside our gate. He took DD to the men's room to change her so I could go to the bathroom. I don't think baby liked the turbulence much as I got sick! (It could have been nerves/stress too.) We took the AirTrain to the Shuttle pick-up and went to our hotel.

Friday: DH took the rental car he had been driving back to the airport as we didn't want the hastle of paying for parking ($20 per night just to park at the hotel!) The put us in a double room which happened to be a handicap room. DH flooded the bathroom with his shower as the shower drains onto the bathroom floor where the second drain is in the middle of the room! The tile was slippery and soaked! How dangerous for a handicap room! After we got up and moving (later than I had hoped) we hoped the AirTrain to the Subway station and rode into Manhattan. We had lunch at Grand Central station. It was hot, crowded and nosy, but the main terminal was definately beautiful. AFter lunch we hopped on a bus for Central Park. The place the bus dropped us off wasn't an entrance. We didn't realize that until we had walked all the way to the west side of the park without finding a way in! So, we wandered the park. I was impressed with how clean it was, but we must have been there at a rotten time of day. I overheard somebody on their cellphone saying it sounded like Vietnam in the park as the helicopters were flying over our heads nonstop! DH took DD on a Merry -go-round. She hated it! We got to the zoo late because of our detour across the park, so we were unable to get in. However, we did watch the seal show from just outside the gate. We went to the fountain (don't remember what it is called) but there was some guy playing violin and singing in what might have been a Hindu-type form. It was amazing! Found our way out of the park and back on the bus... back to the subway and back to the hotel where we ordered in pizza and went to bed.

Saturday: We hopped on the subway again and went into Queens. After a short walk we arrived at the New York Hall of Science. Its kind of a hands-on learning place mostly aimed at kids. DD (and DH) had a blast! I was getting pretty exhausted by this point. Much more walking the past couple days than I had been used to. We spent most of the day there and then hopped back on the subway and back to the hotel. We ordered Chinese this time (pretty yummy!)

Sunday: We hopped on the subway again and headed to the southern most point of Manhattan. There we boarded the Staten Island Ferry. It was cool! From our ferry we could see the statue of liberty without having to pay any money! Fargo has a mini-Liberty statue so DD was thrilled! She loved the big boat and all that water. Once on the island we hopped another bus and headed into town. We took a short walk and ended up at the zoo. Because the FArgo zoo has a partnership with the Staten Island zoo and we have a membership here, we got in free! I was kinda impressed with the place. It was definately a small-town zoo. No lions, tigers or bears here! Dinah got to feed some goats and a deer some crackers. And then she got to ride a real pony! She loved that! We watched them feed the otters and DD thought that was pretty fun, too! After wearing ourselves out at the zoo we hopped back on the bus and made it to the ferry. It was sunset, so DH got some lovely shots of the statue as the sun set. ON the subway home, DD fell asleep. Poor girl was exhausted. Slept all the way back to the hotel (about an hour) and then we took her shoes off and jacket. She sat up and smiled at us and said "We're here!" and something about daddy ... then rolled over and slept all night! (About 12 hours total for our monkey!) DH and I ordered Mexican and went to bed.

Monday: We took it easy packing and getting ready to go. Had to be out of the hotel by noon and our flight didn't leave until 5:30! Had lunch at the airport and watched the planes take off. DD enjoyed that. Since DH was able to come home with us, we got somebody to switch seats so he could sit with us. DD enjoyed having Daddy there. We hit some turbulence just outside of Minneapolis and DD was so exhausted she allowed it to rock her to sleep. We were supposed to be able to stay on the same plane, so DH was gonna run get us something to eat. Unfortunately we discovered there had been a change of plans so I had to get the stewards to help get DH's carry-on, Dinah's and the carseat while I struggled with the sound asleep babe! DH had made it to the gate and they told him of the change so he ran back to help. Our next gate wasn't too far away (from c6-c1) but when you are tired, 6 months pregnant and carrying a 26 pound sleeping child it seems like forever! we made it just in time. DH even had a couple minutes to run and grab us a couple burgers. Since DD was still asleep we decided to gate check her carseat so DH could sit with me again. Because of the threat of snow (I assume) all other flights to Fargo had been canceled except ours so we had to wait forever before we could take off. DD slept all the way to Fargo. We arrived at the airport and my pastor was supposed to be there to take us home. So, I called him... he had gotten distracted helping his daughter with an English project and hadn't even left home yet! DD was awake and not really happy... "I want to stay here" "But DD, we can't! They don't have any beds!" "Yes they do!(through tears)". I sat on the steps comforting her while DH went to collect all our luggage. By the time he got it all, Pastor arrived and they loaded us up and took us home. Rough night for DD. Over tired and not sure where she was she ended up sleeping with us most the night.

All in all it wasn't a bad trip. I would have liked it more if I hadn't been pregnant or needing to keep track of DD, but she had fun too. Its neat to see the world through her eyes. Now she understands better that DD is going to New York tomorrow (but she wants mommy and DD to go on an airplane too!) My first experience on the subway was scarey and I had a minor panic attack. Some black guy in grubby clothes comes in our car and says "I hate to do this to you folks..." and I immediately wonder if he is going to pull out a gun or something! He claims he recently gotten out of prison and didn't have much except Jesus and wanted to know if anybody would give him some money to help him get started again. Later in the trip we had a second, older black man asking for money too... He gave me the creeps almost worse than the first guy, but DH liked him because he played peek-a-boo with DD and gave him the loose change in his pocket. and we really were not impressed with many things at the hotel we stayed at... especially their shuttle service. sunday night I called them as we boarded the AirTrain back to where the shuttle would pick them up. They said a shuttle would be there in 7 minutes. We stood in the cold with a sleeping toddler for 20 minutes! And when I called to ask where they were, they didn't have record that I called and would be sending somebody in 5 minutes!

Well, I don't think I want to go back... just too big a place for this small town girl. I'll post pictures later.

quick update

2007-11-09T21:08:00.000-06:00

DH's New York trip was postponed again until Monday, so he'll be gone for about 5 days this trip.

He spoke to the guy at Staples today... still no interviews given, sounds like he is waiting for schedules to be available for several people to interview on the same day... DH's still in the running for that job!

We're back

2007-11-06T15:38:00.000-06:00

OK. Just a quick post to let you know we made it to New York and back safely. The good news is DH's last New York (Which was suppose to start while we were there) was postponed, so He was able to be put on a flight with us back to Fargo!

... but the bad news is he is being sent back to New York on Friday for another week! (At this point it looks like Phoenix is out but New York is still there).

I'm busy catching up with emails and stuff, so I'll post again later with pics and details.

More news: good & bad

2007-10-30T23:10:00.000-05:00

Its just after 11pm as I write this and my mind is spinning I can't sleep. Tonight when I talked to Galen on the phone, he had some more good and bad news for me.

Good news - He spoke with the guy in charge at Staples today and he still hasn't given any interviews and is still interested in DH. DH spoke with Gary (future co-worker WHEN he gets the job) yesterday about what needs to be done to get licensed for water treatment stuff, so the guy in charge knows how serious DH is about doing whatever necessary to get this position. So... as of today, DH is still in the running for the job.

Bad news - So, DH is stuck in New York until November 9th (DD and I will be there the 1st-5th)... He'll get home the afternoon/evening of the 9th... and it looks like as of the 12th he will be flown off to Phoenix for another job (supposedly only 4 more days) ARGH!!! In a 5 week period, DH will only be home for 6 days total!!!!!!!! DD is acting up so much lately and I just don't know what to do to control her mood swings!

Please keep praying! I know I am!

Can't sleep

2007-10-29T04:27:00.000-05:00

Its 4:30 in the morning. I am wide awake. I've been awake for an hour! I even took Tylonal PM last night to help me sleep. So much for drugs! DD has been so naughty the past couple days. I wonder if I'm failing as a parent. I wonder how much is being 2-1/2 and how much is because she misses her daddy. He has been gone almost 1-1/2 weeks... the longest period yet... and we don't go to New York until Thursday. (2 weeks since she saw him last). We'll be with him about 4 days and then come home and wait another 4 days for him to come home. I'm so lonely without him. I worry my depression is coming back. I know I'm not eating healthy or good and I'm scared all this combined with stress is going to hurt the baby. I have to reschedule my next doctor appointment. Its currently scheduled for the 5th, but I don't get back until 10pm that night. I wish I could sleep. I wish DD would listen to me better. I wish DH were home...

Exciting and encouraging news

2007-10-27T08:04:00.001-05:00

Two great pieces of news in the past couple days that I request your continued prayers for.

First, DH's trip has been extended an extra week, making this New York trip a 3 week one! That's not the good news... the good news is that his boss has decided instead of wasting the company's money to pay DH's hourly wage while flying home for a weekend, he is instead going to spend the company's money so DD and I can fly to New York for a long weekend! We are scheduled to fly out of Fargo on November 1st with a layover in Minneapolis and returning on a straight flight from New York to Fargo on November 5th! I'm a little nervous about flying alone with a 2-1/2 year old, especially trying to get from one gate to the other in Minneapolis.

The second piece of news is from a friend of mine who lives in Staples where DH has applied for a job. She called me the other day. One of DH's potential co-workers goes to her church. They (the others in her church) have been praying DH gets the job. Anyway, she was asking this guy, Gary, about the job. As of Sunday, nobody had been interviewed for the position yet. He also said they had only received 7 applications for the position... and in his opinion, only 3 were worth interviewing... DH being one of them! So, DH is still in the running for this job! Keep praying he gets it! :)

Women of Faith 2007 St. Paul

2007-10-23T16:21:00.000-05:00

We decided to forgo the expense of the pre-conference this year, so we arrived Friday evening for the conference. We forgot to make note of the address for the Xcel Center and ended up half an hour late. The theme was Amazing Freedom and I was so excited to hear what they had to say. We missed a couple of the ladies intros, but made it in time to hear Nichole Nordeman's concert. I love her stuff! Its so beautiful and moving. I really need to get some of her songs.

Patsy Clairmont shared her story and some of her book "Living Lively through the Valley". Having overcome sever agoraphobia, she had some awesome Freedom stories to share. I was so busy laughing, that I didn't get any notes taken!

Saturday morning began with an awesome sketch by Nicole Johnson about Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. She was in her waitress character leading a Bible study. It was so funny! Her point was that we have the opportunity for a dramatic encounter with God. Let's not miss our opportunity!

Sheila Walsh opened by singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". She has tied together stories from The Wizard of Oz with her own life in her new book "God has a Dream for your Life". She says that God has a dream for our lives but our dreams are often for the wrong things. There is a huge difference between the American dream and God's dream. We are in pursuit of a fatally flawed dream. Freedom is not the absence of bars but the presence of Christ. Jesus hasn't come to get us through our prison but to live in us through it!

After break, Anita Renfroe cracked us all up! She did a couple repeats from last year (like her ode to underwire to the tune of that Josh Grobin song - You raise me up...) And then she did that new song from her Momsense album about all the things a mom says to their kids in a 24 hour period to the the tune of the William Tell overture. She shared that God loves to hear us laugh. And she showed us a picture that reminds her of our freedom in Christ: Its a picture of John F. Kennedy in the Oval office with his son, John JOhn, playing with toys under his desk. She says with God, we have the freedom to never be afraid of playing in our Daddy's office.

Man, I love Thelma Wells! She is an awesome woman of God who has been through so much! She shared Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." And how God got her through her time in the closet (due to child abuse) by singing every hymn she could remember. She said she always left the closet with peace instead of anger after finding freedom in those hymns. To find true freedom she said we need to feed on the Word of God and Wait on Him. (Some scriptures she referenced were Psalm 100:1, Psalm 119:105 and Psalm 27). She reminded us that Jesus is a friend better than any other and He will be there when nobody else would. After sharing about a time of trials and disappointments, she said that you can beat yourself up for 15 minutes but then you need to let go and let God help you move on. She also reminded us that we need to study the word and Cherish our friendships. How can we expect to find healing when we hold grudges...

Nicole Johnson came back after the next break with a sketch about a girl who is a "cutter". What a powerful sketch! Sometimes I forgot there was only one person on stage as Nicole's voice changed to a more childlike tone when she pretended to be that girl.

Sandy Patty gave a concert next. Her vocal range is amazing. She shared a story of her dad when she was a child. Her dad let her and her brothers climb on the roof of their house and he would have them jump down to him. When it was Sandi's turn she was scared and he said to her, You are going to fall anyways, but if you fall backwards, I can't help you... if you fall forwards I can catch you. The same is true of our Heavenly Father. Due to our sinful nature, we are bound to fall no matter what we do, but if we fall away from Him, he can't help us. We need to Fall in to Abba Father's arms!

The show was paused for a few announcements... A woman shared with Mary Graham (the MC) that their pastor had just died that day! Not that the death itself isn't sad enough, but the saddest part is he was only 35 and left behind a wife and 3 kids (ages 5, 3 and 1)! It was so powerful to be in this stadium full of thousands of women all praying together for this man's wife and children as well as his church. No cause of death was shared. Not that the cause of death was important, but sometimes is easier to handle if you new this was expected (like cancer) or unexpected (like a car accident) especially since he was so young...

After the final break, Marilyn Meberg shared her story. She shared the lack of closure she felt at her husbands death from cancer and how she found a type of closure. and then she shared about her baby daughter (Joanie) who died 41 years ago and the lack of closure she has because she couldn't get her self to go to the hospital to say goodbye. She said we need to fully embrace every experience... we can't fully experience God without fully experiencing life... the good, the bad and the ugly. She said God is greater than our feelings and shared from Colossians 1:13-14, 1 John 1:9 and Colossians 2:13.

Nicole Johnson did a final sketch about Betrayal... Judas and his kiss.

And then Lucy Swindoll spoke. She shared something Dr Henry Cloud said at the pre-conference. He said, If you have seen the realization of a dream in the visible world you can be sure it started elsewhere. Nothing that happens in our lives is because of anything we do... its what God does though the things in our lives. She shared Galatians 5:13-16. Then she told the story of working for 18 years at a job she hated before the job she loved was offered to her. The change didn't happen because of anything she did. She finally gave it to God and asked Him to take care of it or take her home. When she finally let go, God took over. Her advice to us was to show up, shut up and let go!

Well, through this all I learned a couple things for myself. First of all, I realized I have a couple past relationships (primarily with ex-boyfriends) that I never had closure on. I think thats part of why those relationship still cause problems with my marriage. I don't know how to go about getting yet, but I need to find closure. Secondly, I learned there is nothing I can do to get the things I want in my life if they aren't the things God wants for my life. I need to ask my self am I seeking the American dream or God's dream for me and my family? I want a bigger house with this baby coming and I want DH to get a different job, but is that what God wants for us? I know I have to be content in all things... so I need to find a way to make this 616 square foot space work for a family of 4 until God choses to show us something else... and I need to trust that DH's job is the one he is doing right now until the right doors open. His boss isn't Christian or very respectful of anybody but himself, but maybe DH isn't supposed to leave until he has shown his boss who Christ really is? I don't know. Only God does and I'm choosing to trust Him.

God is amazing!

2007-10-22T21:09:00.000-05:00

Just a praise report from my mom about my cousin's baby Tucker:

Tucker was doing so good today after nearly leaving us over the weekend that the Dr's called and told Cindy and Billy that they are to come to the hospital on Thursday night and spend the night with Tucker and take him home on Friday. He wasn't due to be born until the 24th of November. We forget how powerful prayer and God can be. This is one little miracle.

Very sad this morning

2007-10-21T09:35:00.000-05:00

Well, I went to the Women of Faith conference in St. Paul over the weekend. It was truly awesome and I'll share more about it later.

I got up this morning to check my email and ask my boss to send me the amounts she spent over the weekend so I can make sure she had money in the account. What I found floored me! It was a long email from my boss taking away every responsibility I had and giving me some menial task if I wanted instead... saying she would accept my resignation if that is what I chose! This from a professing "Christian" woman who claims to listen strongly to God's voice. Not saying I was perfect at my job, but she gave me the responsibility of paying her bills and making sure there was money in the account (she is an impulse/emotional shopper). She wanted to be able to call me before spending money to verify the money was there. She kept telling me how thankful she was for the boundaries we set together. She has always bucked my suggestions and I guess finally got tired of me trying to save her money and keep her out of debt. She wanted to be able to spend when and how she wants. I fear for her and her family as well as her business. If they keep on the path they are on I see bankruptcy looming on the horizon.

Well, I lost my job (not that it paid much) and who knows if I lost a friend through this mess...

Frustrated, please pray

2007-10-18T10:33:00.000-05:00

Well, no news is supposedly good news, but I'm getting frustrated waiting to see if DH even gets an interview for this job in Staples. I'm afraid for him as he has some rejection issues. I'm concerned that if he doesn't get this one that he may give up completely and continue to work at this horrible place he is at now. Pray for this. As a family, it would be super wonderful for him to get out of his current place of employment... and for his own health as well (the stress is causing sleep issues for him). He leaves for New York tomorrow and won't be home until November 2nd.

Please pray for my cousin Cindy, her hubby Billy and their baby Tucker. Cindy was allergic to being pregnant. Her water broke several months early and Tucker was born by emergency c-section on September 14th. He seemed to be doing pretty well, considering, and was taken out of NICU and being fed by bottle. Cindy was feeling better from the moment Tucker was born. My mom informed me this morning that Tucker, however, has taken a turn for the worse. He had a blood transfusion earlier this week and isn't improving much. Nobody is out of the woods yet. Please pray for this family. They are high school sweethearts who have been married almost 2 years and have gone through so much so far.

Pray for us

2007-10-12T16:26:00.000-05:00

OK. The Staples, MN job my hubby applied for closes today. They should have gotten his application yesterday. Interviews will probably be next week. I want this job for him (and the family) so bad that I can just about imagine myself in that little community, getting involved and being relaxed and happy. Imagine... living in a town with no known registered sex offenders! Ok, there isn't even a Walmart, but its only a matter of time before they take over the world...

My prayer is also that if, for some silly reason, they don't see my husbands worth as an asset to their company and decide not to hire them, that I will be content with my home and his job (no matter how terrible) and I will support and encourage him to keep applying. He admitted to me the other night that he was kind of scared to apply as he was rejected from the last job he applied for and he has been at this company for almost 8 years! Rejection issues suck!

Baby Pics!

2007-10-08T13:29:00.000-05:00

I had my ultrasound today! Little bugger was too active, they weren't able to get good pictures of the heart and spine, so I may have to have another one in 6 weeks. Baby ways 14 oz right now by their guess, and by the ultrasound figures they think the due date is February 20th instead of the 23rd, but who cares about a couple days difference... The first set of pictures shows baby's face from the front and the second is a foot from the bottom... The second set of pictures show two slightly different profile shots ... baby has one hand raised slightly above its head and the other hand is close to its mouth. We decided not to find out the gender yet... maybe we'll change our mind by the next one. The stinker is breech right now... We still have 4 months for it to flip, but I may do another c-section instead of VBAC... haven't decided. DD was born 3 weeks early and was breech, so I had a c-section with her.

Married Life

2007-10-07T13:10:00.000-05:00

Being married can be so hard. Even after 5-1/2 years, you would think things would be getting easier, but I'm still learning who my hubby is and what he needs. If you've ever read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, one of my primary languages is quality time and DH's is Physical touch. Because of past abuses by other boyfriends in my life, I have a difficult time with the whole physical touch thing. And DH doesn't enjoy doing most of the things that I want to do which would qualify as quality time in my book. We are both hurting because needs aren't being met. How long does it take to change the mind, body and soul's reaction to physical touch when the one touching is touching out of love and desire and not some type of abuse? How can somebody change the way they think about what qualifies as quality time in one persons book and enduring that out of love instead of resenting that loss of personal free time (ei: he hates movies and would rather be doing something alone than sit through a movie with me).

Praise God!

2007-10-05T11:50:00.000-05:00

I am feeling so much less stressed today! Although there is no news on the job front or baby front, there is good news for the house! DH's mom came to town yesterday and we painted the main color on 2 sides of the house as well as primed 3 sides where they needed it. Then, my boss (from my part-time job) is paying a staffer to come over and help some, and he got some of the trim painted with 2 coats as well as hung some storm windows. The progress is making me less stressed about the house, but I'm still annoyed at the weather! Its going to be raining for the next several days, so who knows how much we'll get done! Pray Thursday is nice weather so Howard can come back and help some more! :)

At my end

2007-10-03T15:09:00.000-05:00

I'm so tired... physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... I cried out to God today. Literally bawling in prayer. DH's boss is sending him out of town for work again... a lot in the next 3 weeks... which means we can't possibly get the house painted by ourselves before it snows. I'm saddened that we haven't had people from church respond to our requests for help... I guess they don't think we are desperate enough or something... their own lives/schedules to important to help a family in need...

I'm getting depressed... this can't be good for baby... I know its not good for me. Sleeping is hard enough for me being pregnant as it is... but now DH wakes up several times a night "fixing" things or "looking for scorpions/spiders" that he saw in his dreams. He is so stressed and short of sleep that he has been sleep "walking/working" more and more frequently which disturbs my sleep.

He is applying for a job in Staples, MN... I am praying no matter what they offer that he will accept the position. I'm tired of him being out of town so much and leaving me home with DD... I am dreading what will become of me and my sanity if he doesn't get a different job before baby is born. I had postpartum with DD... I can't imagine taking care of 2 children if the postpartum affects me with this one too ...

Movement!

2007-09-28T07:59:00.000-05:00

I felt the baby move for the first time yesterday! I forgot how neat a sensation it can be. I told DD the baby was moving and she started poking my belly button trying to find baby. :)

DH was working in Staples yesterday and they need somebody to work at the water treatment facility. So, he picked up an application. I hope he follows through... I don't know much about Staples, but I'm so tired of the hours he works that any change would be better.

Letting go of the past

2007-09-26T15:42:00.000-05:00

Many of you who know me recall a time in my life when I was more "reckless" and dated a real bad boy. Elvis Hanson had a good heart, a creative mind, and a loyalty to friends and family that could be considered a bad thing. Throughout our relationship, he was wonderful to me... he comforted me through the breakup with my fiance' and gave me something to hold on to when I was feeling abandoned and unloved by my family. (truth be told, they loved me more at that time then I wanted to believe, but that is a story for another post).

He was tender hearted to me... even the night I thought I was going to lose him. He had an addiction to drugs and alcohol and that New Year's night he almost OD'd on me. It scared us both and I thought it would change him, straighten out his wayward life... and it seemed to for a time... He had a jealous streak... and a little alcohol pushed him over the edge. He never physically harmed me. I want to stress that. And deep down I believe he never would. But I was so scared of who he was becoming I decided it had to end. We broke up, I hoped we could be friends in some weird way, but I didn't want to risk being hurt again. I got a restraining order against him. It seemed to wake him up to some reality that his life was heading in the wrong direction. He wanted to see me, talk to me, but I was scared. He started leaving me notes at my apartment and sent me flowers at work... and then, when his mother started doing the cleaning at the office I worked at I had become paranoid that he was using her to keep track of me. Terrified, I moved away from a town and people I loved to a bigger place that scared me and living with brothers who I didn't always get along with.

For months, I was terrified to leave my apartment but knew I had to get on with my life. I dated other men, had a other bad relationships, and looked over my shoulder constantly... I was scared Elvis had followed me. At the skating rink, there was a guy who showed up occasionally that looked so much like him that I left more than once worried that it was him. I don't know why I was so scared, but that one night of his jealous, drunken rage and the following months of him not wanting to let me go had me completely freaked out.

Well, I'm writing all this down now, 9 years later, to say, "Elvis, if you are out there, I forgive you!" The other night I had a dream that I was in a car with his brother, Jesse, who never seemed to like me much. But that night in his car, he was surprised I was riding with him and asked why. I said that I guess it was time I let go... of the hurt, of the anger, of the fear. And then I woke up. I prayed to God, what does this mean? I'm happily married with my own family and through the short time he worked with my dad a year ago, I knew he was married too. Are we supposed to be friends? Am I supposed to talk to him face to face? I still don't know. But I know now, if I ever run into you again, I'm not scared. I will say hi and wish you the best. Elvis, you were such an amazing artist and musician and I hope you didn't throw that all way with the abuse you put your body through. You have the talent and God given gifts to be so much more than the welder you were last I heard. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. God bless.

Havin' a baby!

2007-07-20T08:31:00.000-05:00

Guess what! We're having a baby! I am currently 8 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Baby is due on February 23rd, 2008. I'm excited and scared about baby #2. We knew we wanted more, but I'm nervous about how Dinah is going to be. She is such a handful right now. Terrible twos! :)

Colorado Trip

2007-05-29T14:46:00.001-05:00

Here's a picture taken of us at the Royal Gorge near Canon City, Colorado in April. The trip was part of our 5-year-anniversary vacation. We were in Colorado for 11 days. We visited my high school buddy, Josh Howard, in Colorado Springs where DD enjoyed torturing his poor cat. And most of the trip was spent in and around Gunnison, CO, where we spent lots of time with DH's sister and brother-in-law (Connie and Steve Bjorgan).

Baptized into Christ

2007-02-24T08:19:00.000-06:00

A friend and I have been making banners for our church for a couple years now. This is the first one we did.

Love Day Dishcloth

2007-02-21T16:57:00.000-06:00

Here's my February 1st Dishcloth KAL. Its called "Love Day". As easy as it seemed, I still goofed. Somewhere in about the last 12 rows I got mixed up and so it didn't end very pretty. It'll still be functional, so I'll keep it for myself to use. The pattern can be found on file here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MonthlyDishcloths/ . I used Sugar n' cream Hot Pink to make it on #7 needles.

Knitting cartoon

2007-02-20T08:52:00.000-06:00

I thought this was a pretty cute little comic.

Here's a few pictures of our Monkey.

2007-02-18T20:41:00.000-06:00

She got a pink "fur" coat for Christmas and a "cell phone" from her cousin.

She has this new habit of taking her arms and sticking them through the neck hole of her shirt at naptime or bedtime. This shirt happened to be her brand new turtleneck...

And this is DD just being silly. :cp

New dishcloth pattern

2007-02-18T17:45:00.000-06:00

I just started a new KAL dishcloth Friday. This one has turned out to test my skills from the start! I have already frogged it atleast 4 times, but it is looking cool! Really lacy looking. But what a challenge!

UPDATE: I never finished this one... it got too frustrating and I was too distracted. Hope to start over some day!

My First bookmark

2007-02-14T20:59:00.000-06:00

This pattern was tough. I ended up frogging it about 4 times. There were still a couple mistakes, but it looks so pretty! This was the February 1st KAL at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MonthlyBookmarksKAL/http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MonthlyBookmarksKAL/

First Dishcloth

2007-02-14T20:58:00.000-06:00

My first attempt at a dishcloth was this wave pattern. I didn't have a good yarn to use, just something unlabled that I found at a thrift store. It turned out all right. This one is called "Catch the Wave" and the pattern can be found at http://vtknitter.blogspot.com .

Another cell phone carrier

2007-02-14T20:57:00.000-06:00

Next project was another cell phone carrier. I liked the colors pattern of this one better, but still wasn't what I wanted. I ended up buying one at Hobby Lobby for $2 that fit my needs so much better. This pattern I found at www.chroniclebooks.com called Cell Phone Cozy.

Learning to knit

2007-02-14T20:56:00.000-06:00

The first thing I ever made was a scarf for my daughter. Just a basic garter stich, but didn't turn out too bad.

First Knitting Project from a pattern

2007-02-14T20:55:00.000-06:00

My first project from a pattern was a cell phone case. I only had one set of needles and one type of yarn available. I wasn't thrilled with it but my toddler loves her new bag. I modified the pattern for an iPod Cover from www.technicolorsheep.com in their free patterns.

My First Blog!

2007-02-14T09:06:00.000-06:00

I started knitting New Years Weekend 2007 and fell in love with it! It is relaxing and I can find so much peace in the stitches. I haven't done much with my knitting yet, but I have tons of goals. I hope to start posting pictures soon.

From time to time I plan on sharing what God has done in my life, too. Last year, Memorial Day Weekend, I signed up on a site called www.settingcaptivesfree.com to do an online study called The Lord's Table. Through the grace of God and the lessons on this site, I have since lost 35 pounds and developed a wonderfully tight relationship with my Heavenly Father.

May God bless each of you.