Made to Crave - Chapter 19: Living as an Overcomer

~ I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

• My victory isn’t tied as much to the way I’ve changed physically as it is tied to the way I’ve overcome mentally and spiritually.
• This freedom and healthy outlook are not tied to what size a person is.
• And He’s proven true to His promises to save us: “Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities. They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress” (Psalm 107:17-19).
• The next verse of this same chapter gives the answer: “He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.” (Psalm 107:20)
• Having a weight issue is not God’s curse on us. It is an external manifestation of an internal struggle. Just like debt for the over-spender or an overstuffed house for a hoarder, issues with weight are signs that we need to get unstuck from unhealthy habits.
• “To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God” (Revelation 2:7)
• Dare to set your toes firmly on the pathway of victory you are meant to be on. Whether we’re on the path towards victory or defeat is determined by the very next choice we make. Not the choices from yesterday. Not the choices five minutes ago. The next choice. Our very next choice. May it be that of an over-comer. An over-comer made to crave God alone.

Personal Reflections

1. Standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, Lysa experienced a victory she attributes more to mental and spiritual changes than to physical changes. What factors have made the biggest difference in the victories you’ve experienced with food? Is it food planning? Spiritual disciplines like prayer and dining on the truth of God’s Word? Changing your go-to scripts? What things are key to your ongoing success? One of the things I have done is change what I have in the house. I know what makes me binge, so I try not to have them around very often. I also pray more when I am weak. I have a friend who I text when I am struggling and need somebody to help me see that I’m doing what I can.
2. God’s promise in Psalm 107:17-20 is that He hears our distress and He heals us with His Word. In what ways would you say God has heard your distress about your struggles with food? I think He has heard me by providing me with more people in my life who want to live a healthy lifestyle. It’s easier to succeed when you surround yourself with like-minded people. What role has Scripture played in helping you to experienced God’s healing? There are so many good passages that I turn my focus to. The one that says “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial… and I will not be mastered by none.” helps me to remember that its ok to have a treat now and then, but I need to be in control of the treat and not let it control me.
3. “To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God” (Revelation 2:7). This verse indicates that it’s not only possible to overcome our struggles but that there is a reward for those who do – and it involves eating! How might this promise encourage you as you continue on your healthy eating adventure? It reminds me where my strength comes from. He is the one who has overcome and He has provided me everything I need on earth and will give me the right to eat from the tree of Life in heaven someday. It helps me keep my focus on the right things.

Made to Crave - Chapter 18: Things Lost Better Gained

~ I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

• There’s a spiritual perspective we must keep as well. The perspective that we will have to turn from some foods for ever. This turning is part courageous sacrifice and part utter repentance. And though the words sacrifice and repentance used to speak bitter-tasting hardship to my soul, they are speaking something else now. Something I’ve honestly grown to love. Victory. But victory won’t stay for long if I start resisting and disliking her essential requirements of sacrifice and repentance.
• Hitting your goal weight is a blessing entangled with a curse. The curse being the assumption that freedom now means returning back to all those things we’ve given up for the past months.
• But we can’t welcome home the missed foods without welcoming back all the calories, fat grams, cholesterol, sugars, and addictive additives (think junk food). The interesting thing about these “guests” is that they send out signals to our brain begging us to party with them again and again and again.
• But for me even little compromises with unhealthy cravings can quickly pave the road for an all-out reversal of my progress.
• In a study recently published by Science News, researchers found junk food to be measurably addictive in lab rats: After just five days on the junk food diet, rats showed “profound reductions in the sensitivity of their brains’ pleasure centers, suggesting that the animals quickly became habituated to the food. As a result, the rats ate more food to get the same amount of pleasure. Just as heroin addicts require more and more of the drugs to feel good, rats needed more and more of the junk food. “They lose control,” [one of the researchers] says, “This is the hallmark of addiction.”
•  “’Everything is permissible for me’ – but not everything is beneficial… I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12).
• “’Food for the stomach and the stomach for food’ - but God will destroy them both” (6:13).
• Food is not the enemy here. Satan is the enemy. And his strategic plan is to render us ineffective or at least sluggish for the cause of Christ. When we’re defeated and stuck in issues of the flesh, it’s really hard to fully and passionately follow hard after God. So, lest we start mourning what will be lost, we must celebrate all that’s being gained through this process.
• “I can” is a powerful little twist for a girl feeling deprived. “I can” helps me stay on the perimeter of the grocery store where the fresher, healthier selections abound and smile that I know this tidbit. “I can” helps me reach for my water bottle and find satisfaction in its refreshment.
• Fellow blogger Anne Jackson wrote a telling post about her weight loss journey when she came to the conclusion early on that there are more things to be gained than just losing weight.
• Anne wrote: Don’t trust your scale! One of the things Brandon [her trainer] said to me is most people will attempt working out and eating better for about a month; when they don’t see a big difference on the scale, they give up. Truth be told, if you don’t see a big difference on the scale in your first month, it doesn’t mean much at all. My scale said, “All this effort and you’ve only lost a pound,” and if I would have given up. Don’t buy into what the scale says or doesn’t say. Trust the effort you are putting into getting healthy. And keep going! Not only are there changes going on in your body that you can’t see, there are changes going on in your spirit – with your discipline, your courage, and your willpower. Keep going!
• Focusing only on what we’re giving up will make us feel constantly deprived. And deprivation leads to desperation, frustration, and failure. Instead we have to focus on everything we’re gaining through this process. And see the gains as more valuable than the losses.
• “I’m sorry, Jesus. Forgive me. Heal me. Restore me. Those little places I excuse. Those little places I excuse. Those same old things that trip me up. The pride that keeps me thinking it’s someone else’s fault. The busyness that makes me forget to stop and consider my ways, my thoughts, my actions. You, Messiah, are the best match for my mess.”
• Jesus wants to help you with that issue. He really does. But you’ve got to stop beating yourself up about it, determine to follow His lead, and stand in the place of repentance.
• We compare, we assume, we assess, we measure, and most times walk away shaking our head at how woefully short our “me” falls when compared to everyone else. How dangerous it is to hold up the intimate knowledge of our imperfections against the outside packaging of others.
• I can make the choice to identify my shortcomings and, instead of using them against myself, hand them over to Jesus and let Him chisel my rough places. The grace-filled way Jesus chisels is so vastly different than the way I beat on myself. My beatings are full of exaggerated lies that defeat. His chiseling is full of truth that sets me free.
• He simply says, “Hey, I love you. Just as you are. But I love you too much to leave you stuck in this. So, let’s full turn from those things that are not beneficial for you.”
• Dear Jesus, I have finally found the courage to admit I’ve craved food more than You. I have wept over giving up food while hardly giving a thought to You giving up Your life for my freedom. I’ve been bound up by feelings of helplessness. I’ve been angry that I have to deal with this weight issue and have been mad at You for allowing this to be one of my lots in life. I’ve made excuses. I’ve pointed fingers. I’ve relied on food for things it could never give me. I’ve lied to my self about the realities of why I gain weight. I’ve settled and excused and made pithy comments justifying my issues. I’ve been enthralled by buttered bread while yawning through Your daily bread. For all that, I am so sorry. These are not just little issues. These, for me, are sins – missing the mark of Your best for my life. With my whole heart, mind, and soul, I repent. I stand on this step and stare at the reality of my depravity and turn. I turn from the dieting mind-set. I turn from what I must give up and week more. I remove my toe keeping open the door to my old habits and patterns, my old mind-set, my old go-to scripts. I choose freedom. I choose victory. I choose courage. And yes, above all else, I choose You. Amen.

Personal Reflections

1. “’Everything is permissible for me’ – but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’ – but I will be mastered by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12). When it comes to healthy eating, what are the things that are permissible for you but not beneficial? Sugar, things with yeast Is there anything permissible that might nevertheless have the potential to master you? Wine, bread, chips How do you feel about the idea that you may have to avoid some foods forever? I hate it! I’m dealing with that right now… I am allergic to yeast, so anything that makes yeast grow needs to be avoided at least for a time… but it’s so hard to avoid them. And if I don’t avoid them, they are the things my body craves.
2. “I can” is a powerful little statement for a girl feeling deprived. In what ways might you incorporate these two very small but mighty words into your healthy eating journey? I can make healthy food choices. I can choose to be more active.
3. Think of an old-fashioned balance scale, the kind with a pan on either side that counterbalances one weight against the other. Imagine placing in one pan all the things you need to give up and in the other pan all the things you’ve gained and will continue to gain. Which side holds the most weight and significance for you? The positive side is starting to win out. It is still challenging to keep my focus on the positives.
4. “We like to identify our shortcomings, form them into a club, and mentally beat the tar out of ourselves”. In what ways have you identified with and punished yourself for your shortcomings? I’m the one who doesn’t complete what I start so I sabotage myself and beat myself up when I fail. Instead of punishing yourself, can you imagine giving these things to Jesus and asking Him to chisel them away?  How might the truth of his compassion help you to break free from your shortcomings in ways that self-condemnation cannot? If I would just believe that He has faith in me, and that He will give me the tools I need for every circumstance. I need to believe that He wants to see me be more than I am, but will not love me any less if I don’t reach the goals I set for myself.

Made to Crave - Chapter 17: The Very Next Choice We Make

 ~ I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

• Sacrificing for a season is not fun, but it is doable. It introduces us to the benefits of discipline and feels achievable for a short while. But sacrificing until we no longer desire what has been given up? Well, that just takes discipline to a whole new level. A level where some will take a brief vacation but very few put down permanent roots.
• It is good for God’s people to be put in a place of longing so they feel a slight desperation. Only then can we empty enough and open enough to discover the holiness we were made for. When we are stuffed full of other things and never allow ourselves to be in a place of longing, we don’t recognize the deeper spiritual battle going on.
• Holiness doesn’t just deal with my spiritual life; it very much deals with my physical life as well. This is a truth the apostle Paul affirmed when he wrote, “Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God” (2 Corinthians 7:1).
• We are “Taught, with regard to [our] former way of life, to put off [our] old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of [our] minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24).
• We were created to be God’s representatives as we live out loud the message of God in our daily lives.
• But victory isn’t a place we arrive at and then relax. Victory is when we pick something healthy over something not beneficial for us. And we maintain our victories with each next choice.
• Here’s a biblical perspective from the apostle Paul: “I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness” (Romans 6:19). You see, the very next choice we make isn’t really about the food and the weight and the negative feelings we carry around when we’re choosing poorly. It’s about whether or not we’re positioning ourselves to live the kind of God-honoring lives in which, by God’s strength, sustained discipline is possible.
• Crave means to long for; want greatly; desire eagerly. Pursuing holiness means God is the only One we should long for; want greatly’ desire eagerly. The only One worthy of worship.
• Psalm 78
• God did miracles – verse 12
• He divided the sea and led the people through it – verse 13
• He guided them – verse 14
• He brought water out of dry places – verse 15-16
• He gave the Israelites everything, but they forgot.

They continued to sin against him, rebelling in the desert against the Most High. They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved… When the LORD heard them, he was very angry. (Verses 17-18, 21)

• And so I’ve made the choice to step into a place of intentional sacrifice. A place where my strength would fail, should fail, but hasn’t. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26)
• “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you not your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD” (Deuteronomy 8:3)
• One wise choice can lead to two, can lead to three, can lead to a thousand, can lead to the sweet place of utter dependence on God and lasting discipline.

Personal Reflection

1. If you had been in the room with the three pastors Lysa describes at the beginning of the chapter, how would you have answered the question, “Is discipline really sustainable?” I would say it is sustainable. It’s a matter of becoming disciplined. Having an addiction is something you can sustain – so why can’t you be addicted to God and healthy living? It’s about making healthy choices a habit. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
2. Lysa points out the crucial connection between holiness – being set aside for a noble use – and daily disciplines with food. How do you understand the relationship between your food choices and your ability to “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24)? My new self chooses the healthier choice, the better portions. My new self eats when I’m hungry and stops when I’m full. My new self doesn’t stuff my emotions with food but instead turns to Christ. I am choosing obedience to God in all areas.
3. “The very next choice we make isn’t really about the food… It’s about whether or not we’re positioning ourselves to live the kind of God-honoring lives in which, by God’s strength, sustained discipline is possible”. Does this idea encourage you or frighten you? Why? It’s encouraging. I have wanted to work on my relationship with Christ for a while, but haven’t been willing to give up self. Now I’m ready to give up self and instead of finding myself empty, I’m finding joy and fullness in Christ. Honoring God is exciting!
4. Take a moment to reread Lysa’s “Unsettle Me” prayer. Is it a prayer you feel you are ready to pray for yourself? It’s scary to pray a prayer like that, but my heart is needing to change. What fears would you have about praying this prayer? Change is hard. Giving up the lifestyle I’m used to and starting over is scary at any age. I don’t want to lose my self and not find Christ there to fill me back up. What excites you about the possibilities of this prayer for your life? Finally being free of this physical weight on my body and this heaviness in my spirit. I’ve had depression for many years and this year (Since mid December 2013 to now) I’ve had rare days of depression instead of frequent ones. What has changed is my relationship with Christ and my relationship with food. I am truly starting to find freedom!
5. “One wise choice can lead to two, can lead to three, can lead to a thousand, can lead to the sweet place of utter dependence on God and lasting discipline”. Do you esteem your small, daily food choices or do you tend to feel they don’t really matter all that much? I’m learning that they matter. Every time I make the “better choice”, the next time I’m faced with making a choice, it is so much easier.  How might your life be different if you could achieve utter dependence on God and lasting discipline? I think of the joy I would feel. The freedom. And what an example I would be to my kids! They are at an age where it’s good to start making better decisions.  What benefits would you most enjoy experiencing? Being healthier mental, physically and spiritually. It has been so long since I haven’t been bogged down by depression or extra pounds. It’s been so long since I’ve felt Christ near me. I look forward to growing closer to him and being able to really find joy in my life.

Made to Crave - Chapter 16: Why Diets Don’t Work

~ I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

• Diets don’t work for me. I seem to be able to sacrifice for a season and then I get tired of sacrificing. I hit my goal weight and then slowly slip back into old habits. The weight creeps back on and I feel like a failure.
• So, I’m not on a diet. I’m on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness.
• Deciding ahead of time what I will and will not eat is a crucial part of this journey. I also try to plan my meals right after breakfast when I’m feeling full and satisfied. Deciding in advance keeps my thinking and planning rational and on track.
• Here’s a biblical perspective on temptation: “If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure” (1 Corinthians 10:12-13, NLT). The way out the Lord provides for me is deciding in advance what I will and will not have each day.
• Keeping these verses in context, verse 14 of this same chapter goes on to say, “Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry” (NIV).
• Expecting anything outside the will of God to satisfy us is idolatry.
• Idolatry, in the case of food, means the consumption of ill-sized portions and unhealthy choices because we feel like we deserve it or need it to feel better.
• We are to flee the control of food can have over our lives. If we flee from the pattern of idolizing food and stop depending on food to make us feel emotionally better, we will be able to more clearly see the way out God promises to provide when we are tempted.
• (From the section called “Two Elephants in the Room”) Elephant 1: “It’s my party, and I’ll eat cake if I want to. Don’t tell me I have to give up all treats for all time” I’m not saying we have to give up all treats for all time… I did give up sugar and starchy carbs for a season… when I reached my goal weight, I added some things back to my eating but did so very carefully.
• I’m not saying that enjoying these occasional treats is wrong. Now that I’m at my goal weight, if I were to decide in advance to have popcorn at the movies, when I would have a small popcorn (no butter). For the next several days I would be more careful with my healthy eating regimen and pass on adding in any treats.
• The realities of diet failure speak loudly and clearly that returning to old habits will cause the weight I’ve lost to return as well.
• Diets are not effective as a long-term strategy for weight loss, in part because people regain most or all of the weight they lose.
• Elephant 2: “I don’t think this sounds like a spiritual journey. I think this sounds like a legalistic approach to eating.” I am not writing this book to set forth legalistic rules about eating. I am writing this book as an invitation to consider the freedom found when we bring one of our most basic needs – food – before the Lord and allow Him to guide and guard us in this area.
• Putting all of our hope in religious adherence to a human-designed diet can create a false sense of prideful self-effort, harsh treatment of the body and, in the end, usually failure.
• Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules, “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. (Colossians 2:20-23)
• Dr Floyd Chilton, a physiologist who teaches at Wake Forest University School of Medicine, puts it this way: Your willpower is in constant battle with your genes and your calorie-excessive environment. Often your best efforts are no match for your genes and environment which is why so many diets fail so miserably… Willpower alone is not enough to bring about this change; start by realizing that you cannot do this alone. If you are a person of faith, use that connection to help you change.

Personal Reflections

1. Have you ever been lured in by the promises of an infomercial or fad diet? I’ve tried slim fast, but that was the only “official” diet I have tried. What was it about the diet that appealed to you most? It was easy and fairly affordable to by the shakes. Did it guarantee quick results? I believe it did Promise you could eat whatever you wanted and still lose weight? Yes What about it made you think, Maybe, just maybe this one is a sure thing? It seemed like something I could do so it had to work. How did you feel when it didn’t deliver as promised or you gained back the weight you’d lost? Sad, depressed
2. Lysa describes her experiences of diets as sacrificing for a season and then regaining the weight when she gets tired of sacrificing. Instead, she says she is now “on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness”. What do you think about this distinction between diets and a journey with Jesus? I hate diets because I feel like I’m missing out on something, so I love this distinction. How might your decisions about food and healthy eating change if you could really see them as part of a spiritual journey rather than a diet? I think if I focus on filling up with Christ and making lifestyle changes that I may be able to stick to it this time!!! Is this an idea that feels possible for you or unrealistic? Why? Its very realistic. My husband is starting to get on board and my kids are old enough to understand. Both of these should make it easier!
3. “God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). This is a promise with which many of us who grew up in the church are very familiar, maybe too familiar. Do you believe, really believe way down deep, that this promise applies to you and your temptations with food? Yes, I do. For Lysa, God’s “way out” is to plan in advance what she will eat. How hard is it for you to look for a way out when temptation catches you off guard? It’s getting easier. As I make more lifestyle changes, making right decisions is not as hard as it used to be.
4. “Idolatry, in the case of food, means the consumption of ill-sized portions and unhealthy choices because we feel like we deserve it or need it to feel better”. Do you agree with this definition? I do. If so, when was the last time you committed idolatry with food? This weekend, I grazed on crackers and cheese and fruit and quick bread. On their own, a little at a time wouldn’t be a bad thing, but I was doing it mindlessly just because I wanted to. And I wasn’t super hungry. What prompted you to do so? It was there and I was too lazy to find something else or put it away. If not, do you believe it is possible to make an idol out of food? Why or why not?
5. There are two elephants in the room when Lysa talks about feelings of deserving certain foods or needing a treat to get by:
• Elephant 1: “It’s my party and I’ll eat cake if I want to. Don’t tell me I have to give up all treats for all time.”
• Elephant 2: “I don’t think this sounds like a spiritual journey. I think this sounds like a legalistic approach to eating.”

With which elephant do you most resonate? Elephant 1 Do you feel you can eat treats as you usually do and still make healthy choices? It’s getting easier, but I’m not in a place of total freedom yet. Do you resist the idea that your battle with food can become a liberating spiritual journey? No. What past experiences inform your views? The better relationship I have with God, the better relationship with my family. My family is one of my triggers for emotional eating. So by drawing close to God, I am in better control of myself

Made to Crave - Chapter 15: The Demon in the Chips Poster

~ I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

• Satan wants us to sneak things in secret. Things hidden and done in secret clues the father of darkness into our weaknesses and opens the door for him to assault us with targeted schemes. That’s why the apostle Paul wrote, “Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of god so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:10-11).
• “They gave in to their craving… they put god to the test” (Psalm 106:14)
• Let’s take a closer look at that verse in Psalms: “In the desert they gave in to their craving; in the wasteland they put God to the test.” The desert is a place of deprivation. In a deprived state we are much more likely to give in to things we shouldn’t.
• I was in a weakened state and faced with something that could instantly and easily fill me.
• We must embrace the boundaries of the healthy eating plan we choose. We must see them as parameters that define our freedom with things like grilled fish and broccoli, not as horrible restrictions keeping us from chips and salsa. And we must affirm these boundaries as gifts from a God who cares about our health, not restrictive fences meant tot keep us from enjoying life. Vulnerable, broken taste buds can’t handle certain kinds of freedom. So, boundaries keep us safe, not restricted.
• My brokenness couldn’t handle freedom with food outside the boundaries of my plan. Not yet. Eventually, I will be able to add some things back into my diet in small quantities. But, not yet.
• Here are some of the healthy boundaries I have set to ensure success on my healthy eating adventure.
• God has given me power over my food choices. I hold the power – not the food. So, if I’m not supposed to eat it, I won’t put it in my mouth.
• I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat. I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices. I was made to be a victorious child of God.
• When I am struggling and considering a compromise,  will force myself to think past this moment and ask myself, “How will I feel about this choice tomorrow morning?
• If I am in a situation where the temptation is overwhelming, I will have to choose to either remove the temptation or remove myself from the situation.
• When I’m invited to a party or another special occasion rolls around, I can find ways to celebrate that don’t involve blowing my healthy eating plan.
• Struggling with my weight isn’t God’s mean curse for me. Being overweight is an outside indication that internal changes are needed for my body to function properly and for me to feel well.
• I have these boundaries in place not for restriction but to define the parameters of my freedom. My brokenness can’t handle more freedom than this right now. And I’m good with that.

Personal Reflections

1. Congratulations! You’ve been chosen to participate in the latest reality TV show. How much would your eating change if you knew that dozens of tiny hidden cameras were strategically placed throughout your home, car, and workplace, recording everything you ate and broadcasting it live on a local cable channel? Would your eating change a little or a lot if you knew that nothing you ate was secret? I think my eating would change a lot. There is a lot of snacking going on when my family isn’t around. When I take time to send a picture of my food choices to a friend, I eat much better than I would otherwise.
2. As Lysa was modifying her eating, she had to flee some temptations because her brokenness could not handle certain freedoms. What areas of brokenness in your life aren’t yet capable of handling freedoms? I have an addictive personality. I struggle a lot to give up things that I love when I don’t get much of consequence for eating them. That being said, I haven’t given up any one thing completely as I work on eating healthier. How do you typically respond to temptations in these areas? Depends on the situation. I am allergic to yeast, so normally, I avoid eating bread if at all possible. If I go somewhere that bread is the central focus of the meal (pizza or sandwiches) I make that allowance instead of going without. I try hard to stick to my plan at all other times though. The discomfort of eating bread is minor if I have it on occasion verses the discomfort of eating it all the time.
3. When it comes to boundaries with food, it’s important to focus on what we can have rather than what we can’t have. When you think of what you can have right now, for what three to five foods are you most grateful? Fruit, veggies and nuts. How might focusing on these foods keep you from dwelling on the foods you can’t have right now? I really enjoy these things in cooked/raw/juiced forms. I need to find ways to eat more of them instead of dwelling on the foods I can’t have due to how they affect the yeast in my body.
4. Lysa describes seven healthy boundaries that are helping her on her eating adventure. For each of the boundaries listed below, place and X on the continuum to indicate whether the boundary feels more like a punishing restriction or a hedge of safety for you.
1. God has given me power over my food choices. I hold the power – not the food. So, if I’m not supposed to eat it I won’t put it in my mouth.                                                              Punishing restriction ______________________x_______Hedge of safety
2. I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat. I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices. I was made to be a victorious child of God.                                              Punishing restriction ________________________ x ____Hedge of safety
3. When I am struggling and considering a compromise, I will force myself to think past this moment and ask myself, “How I'll I feel about this choice tomorrow morning?”             Punishing restriction _____ x _______________________Hedge of safety
4. When faced with an overwhelming temptation, I will either remove the temptation or remove myself from the situation.                                                                                             Punishing restriction ________________ x ____________Hedge of safety
5. When I’m invited to a party or another special occasion rolls around, I can find ways to celebrate that don’t involve blowing my healthy eating plan.                                         Punishing restriction _________________________ x ___Hedge of safety
6. Struggling with my weight isn’t God’s mean curse for me. Being overweight is an outside indication that internal changes are needed for my body to function properly and for me to feel well.                   Punishing restriction _________________________ x ___Hedge of safety
7. I have these boundaries in place not for restriction but to define the parameters of my freedom. My brokenness can’t handle more freedom than this right now. And I’m good with that.                     Punishing restriction ________________ x ____________Hedge of safety

Take a moment to review your responses. What do they reveal about how you view boundaries? I love the idea of boundaries in my eating, but I struggle to stick to them. Which boundary feels most like a restriction? Thinking about the consequences of my eating makes me feel like I don’t have freedom. Is this something you’ve struggled with before? Yes, in avoiding foods with yeast, there are so many more that I shouldn’t eat that it’s hard to think about what I can eat. What boundary feels most like safety? I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat. I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices. I was made to be a victorious child of God. How might you lean into this boundary to give you strength and confidence with the boundaries that might be harder for you to keep? I need to remember this statement when I am struggling to make the better choice with eating habits.

Made to Crave - Chapter 14: Emotional Emptiness ~

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

• Sometimes people struggle with food because they eat too much of the wrong kinds of foods and they consume more calories than their body needs. When their energy output is less than their food intake, the excess is stored as fat. One pound of fat is equivalent to 3,500 calories, which makes gaining or losing weight a pretty straightforward mathematical equation. In order to lose weight, we need to burn more calories than we consume so our stored fat is burned off as fuel.
• Somewhere behind all the math, a less measurable force is at work within me. It takes the form of emptiness or lack.
• Emptiness has a way of demanding to be filled.
• Food became a comfort I could turn on and off like a faucet. It was easy. It was filling. It was available. It became a pattern. And somehow, each time my heart felt a little empty, my stomach picked up on the cues and suggested I feed it instead.
• “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Phil 4:8). I like to call this “parking my mind in a better spot.”
• It’s so easy to park our minds in bad spots. To dwell and rehash and wish things were different. But to think on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to deepen our feelings of emotional emptiness. This is where pity parties are held and we all know pity parties demand an abundance of high-calorie delights, eaten and eaten some more. But pity parties are a cruel way to entertain, for they leave behind a deeper emptiness than we started with in the first place.
• Try walking through the following exercise based on Philippians 4:8. Here’s how I did this with the emptiness I felt about my dad:
• Whatever is true: My dad was broken. Only broken daddies leave their children.
• Whatever is noble: I don’t have to live as the child of a broken parent the rest of my life. I can live as a daughter of the King of Kings.
• Whatever is right: Everything right and good in this life has God’s touch on it. It makes me smile to think there must have been two sets of fingerprints on that old, rusty, yellow sprinkler that night.
• Whatever is pure: God has set eternity in the heart of every human being (Ecclesiastes 3:11). So, even with all the darkness that seemed to surround my dad, some pure light of selflessness broke through and gave evidence of something good working within him.
• Whatever is lovely: God can take ugly and build lovely from it. After all, He’s called the Potter, right? From the dust of the earth, He formed human beings. He healed a blind man by rubbing mud on the ailing man’s eyes. That is a lovely quality about God.
• Whatever is admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy: I wouldn’t say my dad was admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. But then again, maybe I should. Maybe like the icicles there are other memories long forgotten and covered over by the darkness of his cruel departure.
• Piece by piece, God has created a mosaic in my heart – one of restoration, healing, and compassion. I am the person I am today in part because of the hurt of being left behind by my dad. I wouldn’t have chosen that piece of my mosaic, but how good of God to place right beside the hurt a clear piece of glass shaped like those warm icicles from so long ago.
• And while we must pay attention the real numbers by eating less and moving more, we would do well to consider the variables in our lives as well.
• We must identify our places of emotional emptiness and admit how futile it is to try to fill those places with food.
• But for today, finding a gentle memory in the midst of a mess is a good start. A really good start.

Personal reflections

1.                  “Each time my heart felt a little empty, my stomach picked up on the cues and suggested I feed it instead”. Do you feel a similar connection between feelings of emotional emptiness and physical hunger? Yes Do you feel you are able to distinguish between physical hunger and emotionally triggered hunger, or does it all feel the same to you? I’m becoming more aware of it. I take the time to think about whether I’m truly hungry or if I am dealing with something else that causes me to want to eat.

2.                  Lysa describes how she used the phrases of Philippians 4:8 to park her mind in a better spot about the painful relationship with her father. Using the phrases below and Lysa’s example as a guide, invite God to give you a better place to park your mind about a painful experience from your own past.

·        Whatever is true… My husband loves me no matter what size I am

·        Whatever is noble… He takes care of me when I’m sick, He helps with the kids without me asking

·        Whatever is right… He walks with God and is growing in his relationship spiritually

·        Whatever is pure… He has repented of his addictions and has eyes for only me

·        Whatever is lovely… He holds me when I need comforting

·        Whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy… He rearranges his schedule to be there for things that are important concerning the kids and I

3.                  A mosaic is a work of art made up of hundreds or thousands of tiny, broken pieces of glass or ceramic tile. Lysa describes how God is making a mosaic of restoration and healing in her heart, gathering up her broken pieces and making them into something beautiful. Can you imagine God doing something like this in your heart? If God used the broken pieces of your life to make a beautiful image, what do you hope it would look like? He has made a new image of my life. Its one of rebirth. No longer does depression and anxiety rule. I have worked through issues of my childhood and my young adulthood and feel forgiven and have been able to forgive others. I am walking a path with God that I haven’t been on before and it is good.

Made to Crave - Chapter 13: Overindulgence

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

• On the surface it appears that all we’re talking about is food and the amount we consume. In reality, there is a more serious issue at the root of gluttony. Over-stuffing ourselves with food or drinking until we get drunk or getting wrapped up in the affections of an adulterous relationship are all desperate attempts to silence the cries of a hungry soul.
• Our souls have the same ravenous intensity as my mother’s vacuum cleaner, that’s how God created us – with a longing to be filled. It’s a longing God instilled to draw us into deep intimacy with Him. The psalmist expresses this longing as an intense thirst: “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirst for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? (Psalm 42:1-2). “I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land” (Psalm 143:6).
• If we fail to understand how to fill our souls with spiritual nourishment, we will forever be triggered to numb our longings with other temporary physical pleasures. When those pleasures are food, the resulting behavior is what we often hear referred to as “emotional eating.” But this issue is bigger than emotions; it’s really about spiritual deprivation.
• But I’ve realized when the desires for treats is triggered by difficult emotions, it’s not really a desire for treats – it’s a thinly veiled attempt at self-medication. And self-medicating with food even once triggers vicious cycles I must avoid. It’s also important to note that not all gluttony is caused by emotional responses. Sometimes it’s just an overindulgence because we lack the self-control to say enough is enough.
• In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.” Then the LORD said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.” (Exodus 16:2-4) In other words, god planned to use the Israelites’ food issues to teach them the valuable lesson of daily dependence on Him.
• Because these recently freed Israelites continued to grumble against God and turn their hearts from Him, god took them on a forty-year detour. Instead of heading straight to the Promised Land of freedom, they had to wander in the dessert for forty years while they learned how to truly depend on God.
• So, how did God teach His ancient people to depend on Him daily? Each day the Israelites were to ask God for their portion of food. Then God would rain down exactly what they needed for nourishment.
• God wanted them to take only their portion for one day.
• It was a process intended to put them in the habit of dependence on God, and only God, each day.
• Whatever the situation, I keep asking God to be my daily portion – of companionship, provision, patience – over and over. And one day I will find victory over those things instead of just looking back over a pile of tears and cake crumbs.
• Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; Therefore I will wait for him.” (Lamentations 3:22 – 24, emphasis added)
• God doesn’t mince words about His expectations or His promises: You shall have no foreign god among you; you shall not bow down to an alien god. I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. (Psalm 81:9-10).
• Whether we are talking about food, wine, sex, shopping or anything else with which we try to fill ourselves, nothing in this world can ever fill us like God’s portion. Nothing else can truly satisfy. Nothing else is unfailing and absolute.
• “for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” (Psalm 107:9).

Personal Reflections

1. What are the unspoken truth about food at your church or in your circle of Christian friends? I don’t think we have any unspoken truth in my circle. We enjoy food in a social setting. Most of us are interested in the healthier options. We don’t force our choices on anybody else or make them feel bad for their choices. In terms of how they eat and related to food, is your Christian community an asset or a liability to your healthy eating goals? My circle of friends has become very aware of healthy eating. They share recipes and other resources often. We try to support each other as much as we can.
2. Gluttony of any kind – food, alcohol, drugs, sex – could be described as a desperate attempt to silence the cries of a hungry soul. Have you ever thought of overeating in this way, as an attempt to silence your hungry soul? Yes. How might this perspective help you gain new insights about your battles with food? It helps me tremendously to put things into perspective. When I have a desire to eat but I’m not hungry, I ask my self why I want to eat. If its for an emotional reason (angry, sad, bored) I am learning to drink water and find something to distract me from the desire to stuff my emotions.
3. If your soul is like a ravenous vacuum cleaner, what kinds of things have it sucked up over the years in its longing to be filled? Bad relationships, trying to be who somebody else needed instead of being myself, the confusion between wanting to be wanted by my husband and yet not wanting to be intimate as often as he does (if I was fat maybe he wouldn’t want me as much and I wouldn’t have to feel so guilty for not wanting sex), feeling of aloneness when hubby was on the road all the time for work.
4. Lysa uses the Exodus story to demonstrate how God taught His people to depend on Him by giving them just what they needed each day. In what ways might this story be an encouragement to you? I love the story of trusting God daily for all you need to eat. He cared for their needs, even as far as their clothes go (they never wore out!) Are you in the habit of depending on God for what you need each day – to be your daily portion of companionship, provision, strength? I’m learning more and more to lean on him and trust him to provide everything I need. What “manna” do you long for most from God? I want most peace in my situations. To be satisfied with my home, my finances, who I am, what I look like. Contentment in all things would be nice… but also the ability to be more obedient in all areas.
5. Have there been times in your life when you struggled because you didn’t have what you needed? Yes, financially, emotionally, spiritually… you name it! I have gone through several phases of lacking…. How might these experiences of deprivation impact your ability to trust that God can give you what you need each day to deal with food? He’s always gotten me through each situation. He’s provided ways of escape and strength to make the right choice. I know that he will get me through this one. He will give me what I need to walk the path that I need to walk in this stage of my life.
6. “For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” (Psalm 107:9). How do you respond to this promise? It speaks to my heart and makes me smile. I know the truth of it now more than I ever did before. He has blessed me so much in the past year. If you could ask God for one good thing that would help you to feel a deep and soul-filling satisfaction, what would it be? The desire deep inside to keep working towards my personal goal of getting healthy. Finding that 1 thing to keep me motivated has been so challenging.