Made to Crave - Chapter 4: Friends Don't Let Friends Eat before Thinking

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

·        “Stop, in the name of love, before you break my heart. Think it over.”

·        I wonder how many bad choices and severe consequences could have been averted if that three-word statement had been applied.

·        We must be aware that desperation breeds degradation. In other words, when what is lacking in life goes from being an annoyance to an anxiety we run the risk of compromising in ways we never thought we would.

·        When we determine to get healthy, we will have to give up certain things and change our habits. Doing this can make us feel anxious. That’s why we must have friends to help us remember that what we’re giving up in the short term will help us get what we really want in the long term. If we forget to be self-controlled and alert, we are prime targets for Satan to usher us right away from the new standards we’ve set in our life. That’s degradation.

·        A person committed to getting healthy snacks and suddenly feels it’s urgent to zip by the vending machine and grab some chips and a candy bar just this one time. Be aware and be on guard, sweet sister. Know that these are devised schemes to lure you away from your commitments. Find a friend who can speak rationality into your irrational impulses. A friend who will hold you accountable, speak the truth in love, and pray for you.

·        Genesis 25:29-34 The thing that strikes me about this story is how much Esau gave up for just a few moments of physical satisfaction. He sacrificed what as good in the long term for what felt good in the short term. He gave up who he was in a moment of desperation.

·        Persevering through my breakdown ushered me into a sweet place of breakthrough and suddenly I started seeing tangible results.

·        If you don’t have a friend who is willing to take this journey with you by changing their eating habits, don’t be discouraged. Find a friend who is willing to take the journey with you in prayer. Be honest with her about your emotional struggles and ask her to commit to praying fervently for you and with you.

·        And when you get into possible trouble with temptation, remember to “stop in the name of love.” Let your love for your friends, who are standing with you, and your love for the Lord, who wants you to honor Him in the way you treat your body, make you think it over.

·        The temporary pleasure of one brownie would never be worth me having to tell my accountability partners that I made the choice to mess up. That I made the choice to go back on my commitment… our commitment. That I made the choice to go back to my brokenness and set back all that I’ve attained. That’s a high price for a brownie. Yes, accountability is crucial.

·        But the vast majority of us respond very well to accountability in other areas of life. Consider these scenarios:

o       When you see a policeman checking the speed of passing cars, are you more likely to go the speed limit?

o       When you have a meeting with your boss first thing the next morning, are you more likely to be on time?

o       If you know you will be called upon to share your answers in Bible study, are you more likely to do your lesson?

o       If you are having friends over for dinner, are you more likely to tidy your house?

o       When your bank account is low on funds, are you more likely to slow down your spending?

·        If you answered yes to at least three of these five questions, you are someone who responds well to accountability.

Personal Reflections

1.      When a friend experiences success with healthy food choices and losing weight, do you feel encouraged and inspired by her example, or do you feel discouraged and envious? Its kind of a mixture of both… I’m so happy for them because I’ve watched them struggle with their weight. But on the other side of things I’m so jealous because I’ve been working on me, too, and its not coming off for me like it did for them. Where are my results? Do you communicate your feelings to your friend or keep them to yourself? No, I don’t want to come across and unhappy for them or selfish for me… so I do my best to praise their efforts and not take it personally. I try to get back to work instead of turning back to food to comfort me in my frustration.

2.      Complete this sentence: I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because: I do want to invite a friend to join me on this journey. It is so hard to do it all alone. Or to feel alone in your struggles.

3.      If accountability is crucial, what is the biggest challenge you face in making accountability part of your healthy eating plan? Some days I struggle being honest with my partner. I avoid telling portion sizes so I don’t feel so guilty if I’ve had more than I should. Or if I have one bite of a decadent dessert, do I really need to tell them? What about when I’m fixing supper and I lick the spoon… do I need to count that?

4.      If you were to imagine a life-giving experience of accountability, one that empowers you and helps you to feel companioned rather than alone in your struggles, how would you describe that experience? Somewhere I am comfortable being totally honest and not feel judged when I make a bad choice. What kind of person would you want to be accountable to? Right now I find it has to be somebody who is easy to communicate with regularly, but not in my home. What do you hope this person would do for you? Let me vent my struggles, gently remind me when I’ve made a poor choice to not get down on myself but keep working towards my goal. What do you hope they would not do? I can’t have my hubby be my partner because he tries to control my choices. Its not gentle reminders, its “you will do this” kind of statements. I don’t want somebody telling me What to do… these are things I know but struggle to do when I don’t have support/encouragement. How would you determine whether or not the relationship is providing effective accountability? When the partner makes me feel worse about what I’m trying to achieve and how I’m trying to achieve it is when I know I need to back away from that situation.