Made to Crave: Chapter 11 - Stinkin’, Rotten, Horrible, No Good Day

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

·        Isn’t it just like Satan to make us think we have to have something to comfort  us, fill us, satisfy us, only to be haunted by the consequences of this comfort later?

·        But I love what my friend Ruth Graham says about traveling around the same mountain for far too long. “Either we can be victimized and become victims, or we can be vicitimzed and rise above it. Often it is easier to play the victim than take off our masks and ask for help. We get comfortable with our victim status. It becomes our identity and is hard to give up. The Israelites often played the victim card, and I love what God finally tells them, “You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north” (Deuteronomy 2:3 NASB). Turn north! It’s time to move on! Self-pity, fear, pride, and negativity paralyze us. Taking off our masks takes courage, but if we don’t do it, we will remain in our victim status and end up stunted.”

·        Taking off my mask means I have to admit that there’s a problem, and I really don’t want to do that. Admitting I have a problem will likely require that I make changes, and changes are hard. Food gives such an instant rush and tangible good feeling. It’s so much easier to figure out how to get the short-term high of a cookie than it is to get a heart filled up and satisfied with God.

·        Eventually, God broke through my worn-out heart. A thought rushed through my mind and caught me off guard; I know you want me to change your circumstances Lysa. But, right now I want to focus on changing you. Even perfect circumstances won’t satisfy you like letting Me change the way you think.

·        “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express” (Romans 8:26).

·        Whatever it is if we are really going to stop circling the mountain and head north toward lasting changes, we have to empty ourselves of the lie that other people or things can ever fill our hearts to the full. Then we have to deliberately and intentionally fill up on God’s truths and stand secure in His love.

·        Here are some examples of how I do that: Old lie: I need these Oreos. They will fill me up with a chocolate high and taste so good. New Truth: The thought that these Oreos will fill me is a lie. They will taste good for just the few minutes it will take to eat them. Then that hollow feeling of guilt will rush in as soon as the chocolate high dissipates. Do I want to eat right now because I need nourishment or because I’m feeling empty emotionally or spiritually? If I truly need a snack right now I am capable of choosing a healthier option. Favorite Verse: “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19)

Personal Reflections

1.      Recall a recent stressful experience that tempted you to overeat or make poor food choices. What specific feelings did the experience elicit (for example: anger, embarrassment, tension sadness anxiety grief)? The temptation itself makes me angry and sad.  Whether you resisted or gave into temptation how were your emotions impacted as a result? When I’m able to stand up to my temptation I am happy! But when I fail, I am frustrated and angry with myself as well as mad that I have to be restrictive with others don’t need to be.

2.      When you experience problems or difficult seasons in life, are you more likely to put on a mask and pretend everything is ok or take off your mask and ask for help? I put on a mask. I am a great pretender. L How has this tendency impacted your ability to resist food temptations at such times? In public, I can resist alright because people are watching me. Too keep them thinking everything is ok, I have to be responsible. But when I’m alone, having that mask gives me the wrong kind of freedom…

3.      Discovering how to pray without words helped Lysa to feel like she was connecting with God something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Have you ever prayed this way, simply spending time with God in silence and allowing the Holy Spirit to intercede on your behalf (Romans 8:26)? I have not prayed this way but wish I could. Too many times my mind won’t shut down from all my thoughts to allow me to hear God speaking. Does this idea intrigue you or scare you? It does intrigue me. When people say, “God told me to do xyz” I don’t understand what they mean. How did God speak to you because I never hear his voice or feel like He has made an impression in my mind to direct me.

4.      Lysa demonstrates how she replaces old lies about food with new trust about God’s love. In the course of a regular day, what old lies about food make it difficult for you to resist temptation? The biggest one is that nobody will know but me. Do hard times make these lies harder to resist? Yes, its harder to resist when I feel like nobody will know. Drawing on what the Bible teaches about God’s love in Ephesians 3:17-19, 1 John 3:1 and Psalm 103:17, what new truths might you use to replace your old lies? Ephesians remind me that if I stay grounded in Christ, that I have the power of God in me and he will fill me up. 1 John reminds me that I am a child of God. Psalm reminds me that God’s love is with me.

5.      “See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut” (Revelations 3:*) If God were to speak these words directly to you about your struggles with food, what do you hope you would see and experience on the other side of the door? I would hope I would experience true freedom on the other side of the door. That I could just walk right through and not be tempted by food any longer.

Made to Crave - Chapter 10: This Isn’t Fair!

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

• Saying “it’s not fair” has caused many a girl to toss aside what she knows is right for the temporary thrill of whatever it is that does seem fair. But the next day the sun will rise as it has a habit of doing every day. As each band of light becomes brighter and brighter the realization of the choice she made the night before becomes clearer and clearer. Guilt floods her body. Questions fill her mind. Self-doubt wrecks her confidence. And then comes the anger. Anger at herself. Anger at the object of her desire. Anger even at a mighty God who surely could have prevented this. It’s not fair that others can have this, do this, act this way.
• Our flesh buys right into Satan’s lie that it’s not fair for things to be withheld from us. So we bite into the forbidden fruit and allow Satan to write “shame” across our heart.
• Once we taste the forbidden fruit, we will crave it worse than we craved it before.
• But in that moment of temptation, I realized having a pity party was a clue I was relying on my own strength, a strength that has failed me before and would fail me again. I had to grab hold of God’s strength and the only way to do that was to invite His power into this situation. In this case, I gave God control of the situation by mentally reciting the go-to script I mentioned in a previous chapter: “I am made for more. I am made for victory.” I recalled pieces of scriptures I’ve tied to this go-to script and banked up in my heart. “I’m more than a conqueror.” “With god all things are possible.” “Let the peace of god reign in your heart.” “Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.”
• The problem is, Satan hit me with a twist that left me momentarily vulnerable and shaky. “But this is a special time, Lysa. And special times deserve an exception to your normal parameters. It’s not fair that you have to sacrifice. Look around you. No one else is sacrificing right now.”
• So, I lowered my head and prayed, “God, I am at the end of my strength here. This is the moment I’ve got to sense Your strength stepping in. The Bible says Your power is made perfect in weakness. This would be a really good time for that truth to be my reality. Help me see something else besides this temptation looming so large in front of me it seems impossible to escape.”
• Life as a Christ follower will always be a learning process of depending less on our own strength and more on God’s power.

1. Recall the last special occasion or celebration you attended. What foods were present that you knew probably weren’t good choices for you? When I went to my parents over Christmas, the one item I struggled with more than any other was bread products for breakfast. I am allergic to yeast so normally avoid bread. But I decided to go ahead and eat bagels and English muffins instead of cereal. If you ate them, how much of your decision was influenced by telling yourself this was a special situation and deserved an exception? My reasoning is totally because I was there on holiday. Since I’m good most of the time when I’m at home, I made this exception. The result was gaining 5 pounds that week. If you passed them by did you nevertheless resent your choice because it didn’t seem fair? Other times in the past I definitely have felt it wasn’t fair when I couldn’t eat pizza at a pizza party like everybody else.
2. “Temptation doesn’t take kindly to being starved”. Have you experienced what its like to starve temptation in any area of your life? What happened? The first time I tried to fast for 24 hours was so hard. And I still struggle. It’s hard to deny my body something as normal as food. How did it make you feel? It often makes me feel cranky.  For example, did you feel peaceful and empowered or like a tug-of-war was raging in your heart? There was definitely a tug-of-war going on. I know what is right for my heart, and I know what is right for my body. Food of itself is normal and natural and needed… but on those days when I need to deny myself something specific (like breads) or deny everything (like fast days), my body fights me every step because it’s not something I normally withhold.
3. Lysa says she recognizes that having a pity party is a clue she is relying on her own strength rather than God’s strength. What clues you into the fact that you are relying on your own strength in your battles with food? When I get cranky because of denying myself, that’s when I know that I’m doing it of my own power. One of the first times I ever fasted, my husband and I had gone to a semi-professional baseball game and had box seats with his office where we could eat whatever we wanted, as much as we wanted. But here I was, trying to fast. The amazing thing was, no matter how much his boss or coworkers tried to get me to have something to eat, I was not hungry. Totally content to smell the food without tasting it. And I had a good time! I know if I hadn’t been deep in the word earlier in the day, this would’ve been so much harder for me. But I truly believe God got me through it.
4. Have you ever felt as if issues with food and weight were God’s unfair curse on you or wished your struggle could be with something other than food? Yes, because my mom is heavy too, it feels like it must be completely genetic and nothing I can do will make the weight come off. Or if alcohol were my problem… I like a glass of wine now and then, but saying no to wine is so much easier than saying no to sweets. In what ways might your struggle be beneficial or even a blessing? It makes me lean on Christ even more, knowing that if I don’t eat I could starve to death, but if I eat too much, I am hurting my body and being disobedient to God. It’s keeping that fine balance and knowing I don’t have the strength to do it alone.
5. When facing a moment of indecision about food Lysa recommends thinking beyond the moment by saying, “This feels good now but how will I feel about this in the morning?” Thinking back to the last time you ate something you later regretted do you believe asking yourself this question would have changed your decision? Why or why not? I’ve had this experience recently. I had been doing well avoiding bread, but I went somewhere that the only food offered was yummy, warm pizza made just the way I like it! It would’ve been rude to not have any. My body hadn’t had a bad reaction in a while so I allowed myself this time in celebration. But the next day I had such bad stomach pains from eating too much bread that if I had really thought about why its best to avoid pizza I would’ve been ok.
6. “Compromise built on compromise equals failure… promise upon promise creates empowerment” Some decisions about food may seem inconsequential in the moment but even small decisions can have a big impact over time. In which direction are your small decisions about food leading – toward failure or empowerment? My small changes are leading me towards empowerment. With each little choice I make, I am seeing the scale slowly move downward. I need to keep making the next “better” choice.
7. “The struggle to say no may be painful in the moment but it is working out something magnificent within us”. What is the magnificent thing you hope god might do in you through your struggles to say no? I want my faith in the power of God to grow. There are too many times that I let the worries and stresses of the word change how I feel and bring me down. I want to always know that God is there, He hears me even in the small things and will help me through.

Made to Crave - Chapter 9: But Exercise Makes Me Want to Cry

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

• I would halfheartedly do something physical a couple times a week, hating every minute of it. The most frustrating part was halfhearted efforts only produced mediocre results.
• While spiritual justifications also sounded good, in my heart I still wasn’t settled. I knew my weight issue didn’t have anything to do with me being spiritual or worldly. If I was honest with myself, my issue was plain and simple – a lack of self-control. I could sugar-coat it and justify it all day long, but the truth was I didn’t have a weight problem; I had a spiritual problem. I depended on food for comfort more than I depended on God. And I was simply too lazy to make time to exercise.
• Every day I asked God to give me the strength to stick with it this time. I’d tried so many other times and failed after only a few weeks. The more I made running about spiritual growth and discipline, the less I focused on the weight. Each lost pound was not a quest to get skinny but evidence of obedience to God.
• The more I focused on running toward God, the less I thought about my desire to stop. And this verse from the Psalms came to life: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26)
• Was it hard? Yes. Was it tempting to quit? Absolutely. Could I do this in my own strength? Never. But this really wasn’t about running. It was about realizing the power of God taking over my complete weakness.
• “Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O LORD my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever” (Psalm 86:11-12)
• When it comes to my body, I can’t live with divided loyalties. I can either be loyal to honoring the Lord with my body or loyal to my cravings, desires, and many excuses for not exercising.
• “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, who you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19)
• Now, I’m not saying God will cause bad things to happen to us if we don’t exercise, but there are natural consequences for not taking care of our bodies. People who don’t care for their bodies now will live with the consequences of those choices at some point. Be it more weight and less energy now or heart disease later, our choices matter both in the physical sense and the spiritual sense.
• In the spiritual sense, when I’m not taking care of my body, I feel much more weighted down by my stress and problems. I have less energy to serve God and more thorny emotions to wade through when processing life.
• My mom loves to say the best kind of exercise is the kind you’ll do.

Personal Reflections

1. What thoughts, emotions, or images come to mind when you think about exercise? Are your associations positive, negative, or a mix? My first thought is sweaty and out of breath, muscle aches. But my second thought is I’m not as sore as I used to be. I kinda like to jog!
2. Lysa describes her experience of literally running on faith one day when god prompted her to keep running until He told her to stop. She ran 8.6 miles, 5.6 miles farther than she had ever run before. What experiences have you had that required faith you didn’t think you had to see something through? What did you learn? How did it impact your relationship with God? A couple years ago I was in a running group called "Run For God". Its Bible Study where we all go through a "Couch to 5K" program together. I had never really tried running before and from the beginning felt like such a failure. I couldn't even manage the first 30 second segment of running. One of the two leaders always took turns going at the back of the pack so I never had to run alone. Our goal at the end of the study was to do a 5k together. The only one available that worked for most of us was a small charity run. The 6 of us that were able to make it lined up with the rest of the pack. The starter went off and so did we. Before we had even reached the 1st mile marker, I was feeling defeated as almost everybody in the entire race had passed me already. There were only about 100 runners total but I felt so broken hearted that I couldn't keep up with any of them. I wasn't about to give up even though the tears started falling. I pushed forward with my ipod of Christian songs. Praying and running/walking, hoping I didn't get lost in this neighborhood that I'd never been in before. Somewhere between mile 2 and 3 I looked up when I thought I heard my name. My trainer had completed the race and came back to find me and help me finish up. That was God to me. Even when I felt alone, He didn't want me to forget that He was there. Through her encouragement  I finished the race with my best time ever. (44'25") I knew I could count on God to get me through when I felt like I couldn't go on.
3. In what areas of life do you feel strong? For example, in your professional knowledge, your gifts of hospitality, your creative skills, your ability to pray for others, etc. Have you ever used these strengths to help someone who was weak or didn’t know as much as you did? How might such experiences give you insights into what it means to allow God’s power to take over your weaknesses, especially weaknesses with food and exercise? I think hospitality is one of my strongest ones. I like to make people feel welcome and wanted because that is something I struggle with myself. God affirms me so often that I am doing the right thing by welcoming these people. Knowing I made somebody feel loved as I want to be loved makes me feel like I can persevere through anything. God will always love me even when I feel like such a social misfit. He will give me whatever I need to get through any situation.
4. “Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name” (Psalm 86:11) When it comes to your body, what forces compete for your attention and loyalty”? My desire to satisfy my every want conflicts with my desire to do what is right. Do you feel torn between the desire to honor God and the desire to be loyal to cravings and excuses for not exercising? I do feel torn. I really want to stuff myself full of all the sweet and salty goodies whenever I want to. I really want to curl up all day and watch movies while my family is away at work or school. But I know those things are not what God wants for me. Some days are such a struggle to be obedient. How do you imagine your life might be different if you had an undivided heart? If my heart was undivided I could eat the things that were most beneficial to me. I could get the physical exercise I need to get my body healthy. I could encourage my family by being a good example.
5. When you think about your schedule and daily demands, which of the following statements come closes to describing how you feel about your time:
1. Most of my time is within my control. I have a limited number of responsibilities or obligations that can’t be changed but I am otherwise able to plan my own schedule. This is closest to describing how I spend my time.
2. Some of my time is within my control. I have several responsibilities or obligations that can’t be changed, but I do have pockets of time each week that I can use for things I want to do.
3. Almost none of my time is within my control. My responsibilities and obligations are all consuming right now. The only way I could add one more thing to my schedule is to skip what little sleep I manage to get each night.
4. How does your response help you understand your feelings about making time to exercise? I know I have the time to exercise. But I struggle to make good use of my time. On a scale of one to ten (one being very little and ten being a great deal), how much effort would it take to make time in your schedule for regular exercise (three to five times a week)? I have 3 days a week that I try to not schedule anything so that I can make it to my water aerobics class. And 1 day that I go swimming with my family. I need to make more of an effort to get to the gym on those days that my schedule has changed. And maybe add running before my water class.
6. Lysa says about exercise, “I’ve learned to embrace the benefits instead of resisting the hardship.” Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper. On one side, list all the hardships of exercising; on the other side list all the benefits. Which list has more influence on you? Do you feel the benefits outweigh the hardships or vice versa? Can you imagine that it might be possible for you to embrace the benefits rather than resisting the hardships? Why or why not? Hardships: muscle aches, shortness of breath. Benefits: Less muscle aches than I used to, more stamina, clothes fit better, more energy. This is where I struggle... there are lots of days where the hardships win out because I don't want to be sore and tired. But if I can push through those feelings and go to the gym, I feel so much better! I'm ready to go the next day! I need to focus on how good it makes me feel to have been at the gym and not focus on the discomforts that are short term.

Made to Crave - Chapter 8: Making Peace with the Realities of my Body

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Lysa wrote lots of personal stories in this chapter that reminded me of times in my past when boys said things that weren't kind that wounded me "for life". I'm still working through those things, but this chapter has helped.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

• Then I stopped and remembered what I felt the Lord saying this week. Define your week by obedience, not by a number on the scale. The scale does help measure our progress, but it can't tell us everything. It can't tell us if the problem is too much salt intake that is making us retain a pound or two of water. It can't tell us if we actually lost a pound of fat but gained more muscle from weight training. And (in my case this week), it can't tell us what time of the month it is and then give us automatic credit for the extra two pounds or so those glorious few days bring to us.
• So I had to stop and ask myself the following questions:
• Did I overeat this week on any day? No.
• Did I move more and exercise regularly? Yes.
• Do I feel lighter than I did at this time last Wednesday? Yes.
• Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration? No.
• Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of to God? Nope.
• Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I'd had a successful, God-pleasing week? Yep!
• So, why oh why do I get so tied up in a stupid number? And why did I almost let it trip me up and send me to the kitchen for a 750 calorie binge?
• Yes, eating healthy and exercising get our bodies into better shape, but we are never supposed to get the satisfaction our souls desire from our looks. Our looks are temporary; if we hitch our souls to this fleeting pursuit, we'll quickly become disillusioned. The only true satisfaction we can seek is the satisfaction of being obedient to the Lord.
• The body God has given me is good. It's not perfect nor will it ever be.
• But my body is a gift, a good gift for which I am thankful. Being faithful in taking care of this gift by walking according to God's plans gives me renewed strength to keep a healthy view of my body. and so, like the psalmist, I can pray this prayer of thanksgiving for the body I have and mean it: Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. ( Psalm 103:1-5)
• When I studied this verse and decided to rest in the reality of what a good gift my body is, for the first time in my life I thanked God for making me just the way He made me. I am able to look at airbrushed, skinny-ankled women on TV or in the magazines and be happy for that person without loathing myself.

Personal Reflections

1. We all have atleast one physical feature we wish we could change. for some it might be a facial feature like the shape of one's nose; for others it could be breast size or body shape. For Lysa, it's "tankles". What is  your tankle equivalent? My stomach What's your first memory of feeling embarrassed or ashamed by this aspect of your appearance? When I was 19, laying around talking with my fiance at the time, he made a comment that I needed to lose some weight. When I was laying down, any body fat I had on my stomach all fell to the side I was laying on. Mind you, I was 5'3" and 120 pounds at the time. Are you now more or less at peace with this part of your body or is it still a source of painful dissatisfaction? Sadly, I'm less at peace about it now. I weigh 80 pounds more, and have stretch marks and a c-section scar. If he thought I was fat then, what would he think of me now? (not that it matters)
2. Karen Ehman describes how she learned to shift her motivation from the delight of seeing diminishing numbers on the scale to the delight of obedience to God. When you consider previous efforts to modify your eating habits, what experiences or accomplishments provide your greatest motivation to keep going? A loss is great motivation. did those motivations ever backfire or become demotivators? It has backfired... It can cause me to eat something I shouldn't or at a time when I'm not really hungry because I have already lost some weight...
3. Karen made practical her efforts to redefine progress by asking herself the questions listed below. As you review each question and reflect back on your eating over the past week how would you assess your progress: Are there other questions you would like to add to the list?
• Did I overeat this week on any day? no
• Did I move more and exercise regularly? no - I was sick and had my cycle so didn't make it to they gym like I wanted
• Do I feel lighter than I did at this time last week? no- actually feeling a little on the bloated side... :-(
• Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration? Its too easy to eat in secret when you are home alone all day. :-(
• Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of to God? no - any eating was out of hunger or habit not to stuff a void that needed God
• Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I'd had a successful, God-pleasing week? Overall - I think it was a pretty successful week. In spite of the lack of exercise, I feel my calorie consumption was pretty low.
4. Lysa describes how it's possible to park our brains in a place of dissatisfaction about our bodies or to accept our bodies and thank God for making us just as we are. Place an X on the continuum below to describe your current feelings about your body.
• My body is cursed with flaws.                                   X                         My body is a good gift.
• Imagine for a moment that the placement of the X above was made not by you but by someone you love - a child, a friend, a sister. How would the placement of the X make you feel?  What would you want to say to this person? How might you pray for them? are these things you could say to yourself, pray for yourself? Its the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. I know in my heart that I am a beautiful creation made in God's image... but my head keeps me from accepting my true beauty by dwelling on my imperfections. I think if somebody else said this of me, I would probably believe them... :-(
5. Lysa describes the freedom and redemption she felt when she discovered the benefits of her larger ankles. Have you ever thought about  your physical flaws from this perspective? What might be the hidden benefits to the physical features you wish you did not have? There have been recent studies that have said something to the effect that if you have more belly fat you have a lower chance of getting "this" disease (can't remember which one... Since I'm no longer bearing children, I can't think of any other reason belly fat is good for me.
6. If someone offered to grant you one of the following wishes, which would you choose? How do you imagine your life might change as a result of either choice?
• Instant and painless cosmetic surgery to change one thing (like Lysa's tankles) about your physical appearance.
• A permanent reorientation of how you think and feel about your body that would enable you to say wholeheartedly, "I've found my beautiful. And I like my beautiful." I'd chose this one. Too many times I've heard stories about people who've had surgery but their brains still tell them they are fat. If I could like myself as I am, that would be the best gift ever.

Made to Crave: Chapter 7: I'm not defined by the numbers

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

·        I wasn’t at my goal weight, but I was in the process of investing wisely in my health and in my spiritual growth. I had been diligently filling my heart and mind with God’s truths during this journey and these truths were protecting me. In this moment, I could feel the Holy Spirit filling me with a calm reassurance. And it felt absolutely great to say to myself, “One hundred and fifty pounds isn’t where I want to be, but it’s better than where I started. It’s tangible evidence of progress – and progress is good!”

·        Do you see now why its so important to fill our hearts and minds with God’s words and how vital it is to make his truth the foundation not only for our identity but how we deal with food? The Holy Spirit uses God’s words stored up inside us to nudge us, remind us, redirect us, empower us, and lead us on to victory.

·        God wants to be in communication with us. And, as I said in the previous chapter, if you dedicate this journey to God, He promises the Holy Spirit will be with you every step of the way. And that means you have access to a power beyond what you can muster up on your own.

·        We grow closer to God as we learn to look and act more and more like Him.

·        Not only do our actions need to reflect the self-control the Holy Spirit affords us, but our sense of identity needs to reflect His presence in our lives as well. Here’s how the apostle Peter presents this truth: His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:3-11) That’s a lot of text, so let me summarize the principles in these verses that relate to our struggles with food and identity:

o       God’s divine power has given us everything we need to experience victory in our struggles.

o       We are to reflect a divine nature – a secure identity in Christ – which helps us escape the corruption of the world and avoid evil desires.

o       It is through biblical promises that we find the courage to deny unhealthy desires.

o       Getting healthy is not just about having faith, goodness, and knowledge. We have to add to that foundation by choosing to be self-controlled and choosing to persevere even when the journey gets really hard.

o       These qualities keep us from being ineffective and unproductive in our pursuit of healthy eating and, even more importantly, in our pursuit of growing closer to God.

o       If we make the choice to be Jesus girls who offer our willingness to exercise self-control and perseverance to the glory of God, we can lose weight, get healthy, and walk in confidence that it is impossible to escape the cycle of losing and gaining back again. We can be victorious. We can step on the scale and accept the numbers for what they are – an indication of how much our body weighs – and not an indication of our worth.

Personal Reflections

1.      When she felt like she didn’t measure up, Lysa says she kicked into withdrawal mode or fix-it mode. What mode do you kick into when you feel like you don’t measure up? I shutdown. My worth drops and I feel like nothing I say or do is important, who cares what I think, I may plaster on a smile, but I won’t speak.

2.      Lysa describes how God used a passage from Isaiah to encourage her and affirms how much God wants to be in communication with us. If you could clearly hear God’s words to you throughout the day, what kind of things would you hope you might hear Him say? I am ok. My thoughts matter even if people don’t agree. I am doing the right things. Well done, good and faithful servant. What, specifically, would you like to hear Him say when you are struggling with food choices or issues related to your weight? You are beautiful the way you are. You are perfect. I know you want to lose weight to be healthier and to be obedient. You are on the right track. Make the next “best” choice. You have my power in You and you can do this.

3.      The apostle Peter writes that God’s “divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3). In other words, with God’s power we have everything we need to experience victory in our struggles. Do you feel you have everything you need from God in order to overcome your struggles with food? I know I have it all spiritually. I just wish I knew if I was making the right choices as far as foods… Which foods are better for my body?  Or is this one of those truths that looks good on Bible paper but doesn’t seem to impact your everyday life? How might your relationship to food change if you could fully embrace this truth? I ask myself often if I what I am eating is beneficial to my body. I know “everything is permissible”, so it’s the why am I eating and how much should I eat that I really wish I could hear clearer Biblical instructions on.

·        “I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth”. How do the numbers on the scale impact your self-worth? They make me feel fat. Its funny, I look down at my body and I think I look ok. Or I look at somebody else and I hear a voice in my head, “At least I’m not as big as that”… but when I look in my mirror or at a picture of myself, all I can see is how fat I am. Is Lysa’s statement one you can make with full confidence or is it something you aspire to but haven’t quite reached? I know in my heart that “fat” people are worth as much as skinny people and that the number on the scale has nothing to do with who I really am inside. Sometimes I feel like society doesn’t take “fat” people seriously. What self-defeating thoughts or hurtful comments from others routinely run through your mind when it comes to food and your weight? I hear this boy at Bible camp when we were doing a human pyramid. He was under me and he collapsed. Telling me I was too fat when I KNOW at that age I wasn’t fat. I hear my ex-fiance telling me I should lose some weight but I was only 19 and 120 pounds and I know that isn’t fat. The real thoughts behind those statements were that nobody would like me or want me if I because I was fat.  What insights and perspective do you gain when you scrutinize them with these questions:

·        Is this true? Both statements were made more than 18 years ago, I knew at the time they weren’t true and now I’m 80 pounds heavier. I know they aren’t true. I have a husband who loves me as I am, and friends who value me.

·        Is this beneficial? Those thoughts aren’t valuable. They keep me stuck in this pit of depression and low-self-esteem.

·        Is this necessary? These thoughts are NOT necessary and I NEED to change them to statements that are true and beneficial and necessary.

Made to Crave - Chapter 6: Growing Closer to God

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

·        Growing closer to God has a whole lot less to do with any action we might take and a whole lot more to do with positioning our hearts towards His.

·        The posture isn’t standing with our hands up high or arms outstretched. The posture is the lowest possible position in which we can put ourselves with empty hands and eager hearts. In other words, communication with our intentions, our attitudes and even our body language that we are willing to deny ourselves.

·        “How do you grow close to God?” I answered, “By making the choice to deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial. And making this intentional sacrifice for the sole purpose of growing closer to God. After all, Jesus Himself said, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me’ [Luke 9:23].”

·        Yes, I want to lose weight. But this journey is so much more than just that. It really is about learning to tell myself no and learning to make wiser choices daily. And somehow becoming a woman of self-discipline honors God and helps me live the godly characteristic of self-control.

·        Before the apostle Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit in his letter to the churches in Galatia he describes a power available to us that goes way beyond self-control: “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature” (Galatians 5:16, emphasis added). In other words, live with the willingness to walk away when the Holy Spirit nudges you and says, “that food choice is permissible but not beneficial – so don’t eat it.” Not sinful – please hear me out on this. Food isn’t sinful. But when food is what Satan holds up in front of us and says, “You’ll never be free from this battle. You will always bounce from feeling deprived when you’re dieting to feeling guilty when you’re splurging. Victory isn’t possible. You aren’t capable of self-control with food,” we must see that its inappropriate consummation can be his lure to draw our heart into a place of defeat. For others it will be sex outside marriage, the inappropriate consumption of alcohol, illegal drugs, or some other physical means.

·        How can we tune into these nudges of the Holy Spirit? How can we “live by the Spirit”? First, we have to know where the Spirit is and what He gives us.

·        Not only does the Spirit live in us, but He is active and infuses power to our lives that is beyond what we could possibly muster up on our own.

·        How do we live by this Spirit and heed His voice of wisdom and caution?

·        We read the Bible with the intention of putting into practice what we read while asking the Holy Spirit to direct us in knowing how to do this.

·        It’s not easy relying on the Holy Spirit to direct us into wise choices. It’s not easy to dare to actually live a life in which we put scripture to action. Especially scriptures about self-control. It’s not easy but it is possible.

·        We serve a compassionate God. A God who knew food would be a major stumbling block in our all-out pursuit of Him. Literally, issues with food can hold us back in our calling and our commitment to Christ. So, He’s given us great gifts in the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and the Bible to help us.

·        It’s about trying to use food to fill not only the physical void of our stomachs but also the spiritual void of our souls. Here’s the problem with that: Food can fill our stomachs but never our souls. Possessions can fill our houses but never our hearts. Sex can fill our nights but never our hunger for love. Children can fill our days but never our identities. Jesus wants us to know only He can fill us and truly satisfy us. He really wants us to know that. Only by being filled with authentic soul food from Jesus – following Him and telling others about Him – will our souls ever be truly satisfied.

·        For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. (Philippians 3:18-19)

·        If we find that certain foods are impossible to walk away from – we can’t or won’t deny ourselves an unhealthy choice in order to make a healthier choice – then it’s a clue we are being ruled by this food on some level. Being ruled by something other than god diminishes our commitment and will make us feel increasingly distant from Him.

·        Thankfully, Paul’s words to the Philippians don’t end in verse 19. There’s good news: But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. (Philippians 3:20-21)

·        I want His power to help me bring everything – everything – under His control. I want my lowly body to be transformed. I want to be in the process of becoming more and more like Jesus.

·        It reestablishes that God, not food, is who is in control of me. That helps keep me undivided in my commitment to Him.

Personal Reflections

1.      What is your response to the idea that we grow closer to God when we deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial? I agree. Its not easy to do, but sometimes we give food or things too high a priority in our life, one that we should only give God.  Have you ever had an experience of denying yourself that helped you to grow closer to god? Yes! The first time I went through “the Lord’s Table” Do you believe this could be true for you in your battle with food? Yes! Certain foods definitely have a stronger pull on me.

2.      The apostle Paul lists self-control among the fruit of the Spirit. Are there areas of life in which you experience self-control and feel that your self-discipline and wise choices honor God? I’m am feeling that in the area of our finances as we’ve been using Dave Ramsey’s plan to help us eliminate debt for the past 15 months. For example, in your spending decisions or how you manage your time? What insights about your strengths in those areas might help you to honor God and grow in self-control with your food choices? If I can let God help me take control of my spending habits and see such amazing results, why wouldn’t he help me with my eating habits with the same amazing results?

3.      Have you ever had the experience of the Holy Spirit nudging you in connection with your food choices? yes If so, what was that like? Its like my conscience saying that “you don’t need that candy bar… a handful of almonds will be better… step away from the pop… you need a glass of water instead.” Just makes it easier to make a better choice. If not, how do you hope the Holy Spirit might help you now?

4.      As Christians, our calling – and our source of spiritual nourishment – is to do god’s will and finish His work (John 4:34). To what degree have consuming thoughts about food impacted your ability to pursue your calling and receive spiritual nourishment? It’s getting easier to pursue spiritual nourishment. I struggle when I’m upset to turn to prayer/scripture instead of food/drink… It’s probably because as a society we’ve been trained to want immediate comfort and food can change the direction of our thoughts so quickly…

5.      Would you say you are spiritually well fed, spiritually malnourished or somewhere in between? I feel like I’m somewhere in between. My personal study time has been improving, but in other areas I’m struggling to get what I need. Have you ever tried to use food to satisfy your feelings of spiritual hunger? I don’t know that I have eaten to specifically fill a spiritual hunger. I know I have for emotional reasons. What was the result? It was never satisfying. Either the food would be good, but the feelings would disappear soon after eating or the food would not be as good as I hoped and I’d feel guilt in addition to the emotion I was trying to avoid.

6.      If we find certain foods impossible to walk away from, this is a clue that we are being ruled by food on some level. Are there foods you can’t or won’t deny yourself in order to make a healthier choice? The one I am struggling the most to avoid is sugar. I’m doing better about not turning to the sugary stuff, but I haven’t ever felt the need to do a complete detox. Why are these foods especially important to you? The sad thing is that my body says I shouldn’t have sugar, to a degree… I have a yeast allergy, therefore my body craves sugars to feed the yeast. Sugar is in EVERYTHING in one form or another, so I just have to take it one meal at a time. One “better choice” at a time. What thoughts and feelings arise when you think about potentially giving them up? The thought of giving it up completely is overwhelming and scary. As I said, sugars are in everything. So far I haven’t felt God saying to cut them out completely. But I have cut back and work hard to make better choices.

Made to Crave - Chapter 5: Made for More

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

·        There typically is a honeymoon phase at the start of a new healthy eating plan and nothing tempts you away from healthy choices. But then you’re invited to a party. Your friends are quick to say, “Oh come on, just one won’t hurt. This is a special day.”

·        It is so tempting to give in. Set things in reverse. Pretend it won’t matter.

·        But it does matter and not just for the physical or mental setback. It’s the denial of a fundamental spiritual truth that will make a healthy eating plan fall apart time and time again. What is this truth? We were made for more than this. More than this failure, more than this cycle, more than being ruled by our taste buds. We were made for victory. Sometimes we just have to find our way to that truth.

·        I wasn’t made to live a life that dishonors the Lord. None of us are.

·        Rewriting the go-to scripts is one of the most crucial steps towards permanent progress.

·        And the first of these is, “I was made for more.” Wrapped in this truth is a wisdom and revelation that unlocks great power available to all Christians.

·        We need a power beyond our frail attempts and fragile resolve. A power greater than our taste buds, hormones, temptations and our inborn female demand for chocolate.

·        (Ephesians 1:17-19, emphasis added) I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

·        If we unpack this passage, understand its richness, and then practice its truth, it’s amazing how empowered we’ll be.

·        Be Persistent: “I Keep Asking”

·        We need to ask for God’s wisdom, revelation, and intervening power to be an integral part of our food choices from now on.

·        “God, I recognize I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So, I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and Your indwelling power to walk away from things that are not beneficial for me.”

·        Embrace a True Identity: “Glorious Father”

·        We are made for more because we are children of God. For years I identified myself not by my relationship with God but by my circumstances. I was… Lysa, the girl from a broken home. Lysa, the girl rejected by her father. Lysa, the girl sexually abused by a grandfather figure. Lysa, the girl who walked away from God after the death of her sister. Lysa, the girl who had an abortion after a string of bad relationships.

·        Then one day I read a list of who God says I am. I took that list of Scripture and started to redefine my identity.

·        I didn’t have to be defined by my circumstances. Instead, I could live in the reality of who my glorious heavenly Father says I am: Lysa, the forgiven child of God (Romans 3:24). Lysa, the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2). Lysa, the accepted child of God (1 Corinthians 1:2). Lysa, the holy child of God (1 Corinthians 1:30). Lysa, the made-new child of God. (2 Corinthians 5:7) Lysa, the loved child of God (Ephesians 1:4). Lysa, the close child of God (Ephesians 2:13). Lysa, the confident child of God (Ephesians 3:12). Lysa, the victorious child of God (Romans 8:27). I was made to be set free, holy, new, loved, and confident.

·        The truth of my identity as a child of god empowers me to believe that living in victory tastes sweeter than any unhealthy delicacy.

·        Find the Deeper Reason: “So that you may know him better”

·        The real reason for grounding ourselves in the truth that we are made for more is “so that you may know him better.” The more we operate in the truth of who we are and the reality that we were made for more, the closer to God we’ll become.

·        Making this connection – between being made for more and getting to know God better – helps this whole adventure be less about food and exercise and lifestyle choices and more about embracing a chance for deep and wonderful connections with God.

·        Discover a Hope and Power Like no Other: “That the Eyes of Your Heart May Be Enlightened”

·        The apostle Paul asks that light be shed upon our hearts so we can more clearly recognize the hope and power available to us.

·        We were made for more than excuses and vicious cycles. We can taste success. We can experience truth. We can choose to stay on the path of hard work and perseverance. We can build one success on top of another. We can keep “made for more” at the top of our minds and on the tips of our tongues. And our eating habits can be totally transformed as we keep asking, embrace our true identity, find the deeper reason for claiming that identity, and operate in the hope and power that’s like no other.

Christian recording artist, Mandisa, is partnering with Proverbs31 ministries on this “Made to Crave” study. On her blog, she wrote about this chapter. Check out her link.
http://mandisaofficial.com/home/identity-statements-recognize-replace-repeat/
Personal Reflections

1.      “I was made for more” is a spiritual truth that unlocks great power for Christians. When you think of your past failures and your current struggles with food, how do you hope this truth might help you? I need to remember that I was made for more than constantly feeling bad, for always feeling out of shape, for always feeling poor about myself… I was made for freedom, for joy…    

2.      When you introduce yourself to someone you don’t know, how do you define yourself? By your family relationships (as a wife, mother, daughter, aunt)? By a professional title, or lack of one? By where you live or go to church? What might your introduction reveal about how you understand your own identity? I am often introducing myself as Dinah’s mom, or JR’s mom, or Galen’s wife. John’s daughter, Nancy’s daughter, Don and Ileen’s daughter-in-law… former worship leader, current ministry leader, stay-at-home mom… My identity seems to be wrapped up in the people in my life and who I am to them… I don’t know how I am without including those people or jobs.

3.      Lysa describes how she once defined her identity by her circumstances: Lysa, the girl from a broken home; Lysa, the girl rejected by her father; Lysa, the girl sexually abused by a grandfather figure. Have you ever felt your identity was defined by your circumstances? If you were to describe your identity as Lysa did, what would be on your list? The short, fat girl who can’t play sports; the girl with average intelligence; the girl who could never do the things her friends did because she was stuck on the farm;

4.      Take a moment to review the following list of statements, inserting your name before each one. How does this understanding of how God sees you impact the circumstance-based view of your identity you listed in response to question 3? I know I am not who my circumstances made me feel like I was. I know this in my heart and have to remind myself that those were the circumstances of my past and they helped make me who I am, but they are not who I am.

__Laura____ the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)

___ Laura ___ the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2)

__ Laura ____ the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2)

__ Laura ____ the holy child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:30)

__ Laura ____ the made-new child of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

__ Laura ____ the loved child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)

__ Laura ____ the close child of God. (Ephesians 2:13)

__ Laura ____ the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)

__ Laura ____ the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37)

5.      Refer back to page 51 or your Bible. Reread Ephesians 1:17-20 and reflect on the key themes of he passage using the questions below.

a.       Be persistent: “I keep asking”. Do you have any reservations about asking God for wisdom and power each day to help you on this journey? How do you hope persistent prayer might help you? I am hoping that by talking to God always about my struggles and praising Him for my successes that it will become completely natural to give him the glory. That I will stop turning to junk food but turn to him when the temptation occurs.

b.      Embrace a true identity: “Glorious Father”. With what untruths about your identity have you struggled? How might your life change if you could embrace the truth of your identity as a child of God? I would have more confidence in myself and find that I can actually like who I am right now and be content in my skin.

c.       Find the deeper reason: “So that you may know him better.” How might God use your journey toward healthy eating as a way to help you get to know Him better? By turning to him more, in good and in bad, I’ll feel closer to him in my prayer life and I’ll hunger for him in my quiet times.

d.      Discover a hope and power like no other: “That the eyes of your heart might be enlightened.” To what degree do you feel like everything depends on you – your willpower and determination? A little, a lot? Quite a bit… I know God is always there to turn to, but I often struggle to hear or feel his nudging. I want to always remember that Feelings are fallible and He is always there no matter what.  To what degree do you believe that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is also available to help you? A little, a lot? I believe it is there a lot. More and more often I am seeing the places that he has pulled me through an especially trying or tempting time that in the past I would’ve fallen flat on my face in sin… As you reflect back on each day, how will you know whether you relied on your own strength or leaned into God’s strength? As long as I am moving in the right direction, and know I am walking in obedience, then I will be confident that I am leaning on God’s strength. The moment I start making excuses and allowances is the moment I have started thinking I am strong enough to do this on my own.