Made to Crave - Chapter 10: This Isn’t Fair!

I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be. Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.

Each of the following points were taken straight from the book. No plagiarizing intended.

• Saying “it’s not fair” has caused many a girl to toss aside what she knows is right for the temporary thrill of whatever it is that does seem fair. But the next day the sun will rise as it has a habit of doing every day. As each band of light becomes brighter and brighter the realization of the choice she made the night before becomes clearer and clearer. Guilt floods her body. Questions fill her mind. Self-doubt wrecks her confidence. And then comes the anger. Anger at herself. Anger at the object of her desire. Anger even at a mighty God who surely could have prevented this. It’s not fair that others can have this, do this, act this way.
• Our flesh buys right into Satan’s lie that it’s not fair for things to be withheld from us. So we bite into the forbidden fruit and allow Satan to write “shame” across our heart.
• Once we taste the forbidden fruit, we will crave it worse than we craved it before.
• But in that moment of temptation, I realized having a pity party was a clue I was relying on my own strength, a strength that has failed me before and would fail me again. I had to grab hold of God’s strength and the only way to do that was to invite His power into this situation. In this case, I gave God control of the situation by mentally reciting the go-to script I mentioned in a previous chapter: “I am made for more. I am made for victory.” I recalled pieces of scriptures I’ve tied to this go-to script and banked up in my heart. “I’m more than a conqueror.” “With god all things are possible.” “Let the peace of god reign in your heart.” “Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.”
• The problem is, Satan hit me with a twist that left me momentarily vulnerable and shaky. “But this is a special time, Lysa. And special times deserve an exception to your normal parameters. It’s not fair that you have to sacrifice. Look around you. No one else is sacrificing right now.”
• So, I lowered my head and prayed, “God, I am at the end of my strength here. This is the moment I’ve got to sense Your strength stepping in. The Bible says Your power is made perfect in weakness. This would be a really good time for that truth to be my reality. Help me see something else besides this temptation looming so large in front of me it seems impossible to escape.”
• Life as a Christ follower will always be a learning process of depending less on our own strength and more on God’s power.

1. Recall the last special occasion or celebration you attended. What foods were present that you knew probably weren’t good choices for you? When I went to my parents over Christmas, the one item I struggled with more than any other was bread products for breakfast. I am allergic to yeast so normally avoid bread. But I decided to go ahead and eat bagels and English muffins instead of cereal. If you ate them, how much of your decision was influenced by telling yourself this was a special situation and deserved an exception? My reasoning is totally because I was there on holiday. Since I’m good most of the time when I’m at home, I made this exception. The result was gaining 5 pounds that week. If you passed them by did you nevertheless resent your choice because it didn’t seem fair? Other times in the past I definitely have felt it wasn’t fair when I couldn’t eat pizza at a pizza party like everybody else.
2. “Temptation doesn’t take kindly to being starved”. Have you experienced what its like to starve temptation in any area of your life? What happened? The first time I tried to fast for 24 hours was so hard. And I still struggle. It’s hard to deny my body something as normal as food. How did it make you feel? It often makes me feel cranky.  For example, did you feel peaceful and empowered or like a tug-of-war was raging in your heart? There was definitely a tug-of-war going on. I know what is right for my heart, and I know what is right for my body. Food of itself is normal and natural and needed… but on those days when I need to deny myself something specific (like breads) or deny everything (like fast days), my body fights me every step because it’s not something I normally withhold.
3. Lysa says she recognizes that having a pity party is a clue she is relying on her own strength rather than God’s strength. What clues you into the fact that you are relying on your own strength in your battles with food? When I get cranky because of denying myself, that’s when I know that I’m doing it of my own power. One of the first times I ever fasted, my husband and I had gone to a semi-professional baseball game and had box seats with his office where we could eat whatever we wanted, as much as we wanted. But here I was, trying to fast. The amazing thing was, no matter how much his boss or coworkers tried to get me to have something to eat, I was not hungry. Totally content to smell the food without tasting it. And I had a good time! I know if I hadn’t been deep in the word earlier in the day, this would’ve been so much harder for me. But I truly believe God got me through it.
4. Have you ever felt as if issues with food and weight were God’s unfair curse on you or wished your struggle could be with something other than food? Yes, because my mom is heavy too, it feels like it must be completely genetic and nothing I can do will make the weight come off. Or if alcohol were my problem… I like a glass of wine now and then, but saying no to wine is so much easier than saying no to sweets. In what ways might your struggle be beneficial or even a blessing? It makes me lean on Christ even more, knowing that if I don’t eat I could starve to death, but if I eat too much, I am hurting my body and being disobedient to God. It’s keeping that fine balance and knowing I don’t have the strength to do it alone.
5. When facing a moment of indecision about food Lysa recommends thinking beyond the moment by saying, “This feels good now but how will I feel about this in the morning?” Thinking back to the last time you ate something you later regretted do you believe asking yourself this question would have changed your decision? Why or why not? I’ve had this experience recently. I had been doing well avoiding bread, but I went somewhere that the only food offered was yummy, warm pizza made just the way I like it! It would’ve been rude to not have any. My body hadn’t had a bad reaction in a while so I allowed myself this time in celebration. But the next day I had such bad stomach pains from eating too much bread that if I had really thought about why its best to avoid pizza I would’ve been ok.
6. “Compromise built on compromise equals failure… promise upon promise creates empowerment” Some decisions about food may seem inconsequential in the moment but even small decisions can have a big impact over time. In which direction are your small decisions about food leading – toward failure or empowerment? My small changes are leading me towards empowerment. With each little choice I make, I am seeing the scale slowly move downward. I need to keep making the next “better” choice.
7. “The struggle to say no may be painful in the moment but it is working out something magnificent within us”. What is the magnificent thing you hope god might do in you through your struggles to say no? I want my faith in the power of God to grow. There are too many times that I let the worries and stresses of the word change how I feel and bring me down. I want to always know that God is there, He hears me even in the small things and will help me through.