I'm sharing the high points that I found in each chapter and then I answer the
questions at the end of each chapter with my honest feelings. I'm reading the
book on my Kindle, so I don't have page numbers for any of the thoughts I have
taken from the book. This has been a journey that has spanned at least a decade
for me. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm farther along than I used to be.
Walk with me and feel free to share your thoughts. Be kind. Be blessed.
- Sometimes people struggle with food because they eat too much of the wrong kinds of foods and they consume more calories than their body needs. When their energy output is less than their food intake, the excess is stored as fat. One pound of fat is equivalent to 3,500 calories, which makes gaining or losing weight a pretty straightforward mathematical equation. In order to lose weight, we need to burn more calories than we consume so our stored fat is burned off as fuel.
- Somewhere behind all the math, a less measurable force is at work within me. It takes the form of emptiness or lack.
- Emptiness has a way of demanding to be filled.
- Food became a comfort I could turn on and off like a faucet. It was easy. It was filling. It was available. It became a pattern. And somehow, each time my heart felt a little empty, my stomach picked up on the cues and suggested I feed it instead.
- “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Phil 4:8). I like to call this “parking my mind in a better spot.”
- It’s so easy to park our minds in bad spots. To dwell and rehash and wish things were different. But to think on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to deepen our feelings of emotional emptiness. This is where pity parties are held and we all know pity parties demand an abundance of high-calorie delights, eaten and eaten some more. But pity parties are a cruel way to entertain, for they leave behind a deeper emptiness than we started with in the first place.
- Try walking through the following exercise based on Philippians 4:8. Here’s how I did this with the emptiness I felt about my dad:
- Whatever is true: My dad was broken. Only broken daddies leave their children.
- Whatever is noble: I don’t have to live as the child of a broken parent the rest of my life. I can live as a daughter of the King of Kings.
- Whatever is right: Everything right and good in this life has God’s touch on it. It makes me smile to think there must have been two sets of fingerprints on that old, rusty, yellow sprinkler that night.
- Whatever is pure: God has set eternity in the heart of every human being (Ecclesiastes 3:11). So, even with all the darkness that seemed to surround my dad, some pure light of selflessness broke through and gave evidence of something good working within him.
- Whatever is lovely: God can take ugly and build lovely from it. After all, He’s called the Potter, right? From the dust of the earth, He formed human beings. He healed a blind man by rubbing mud on the ailing man’s eyes. That is a lovely quality about God.
- Whatever is admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy: I wouldn’t say my dad was admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. But then again, maybe I should. Maybe like the icicles there are other memories long forgotten and covered over by the darkness of his cruel departure.
- Piece by piece, God has created a mosaic in my heart – one of restoration, healing, and compassion. I am the person I am today in part because of the hurt of being left behind by my dad. I wouldn’t have chosen that piece of my mosaic, but how good of God to place right beside the hurt a clear piece of glass shaped like those warm icicles from so long ago.
- And while we must pay attention the real numbers by eating less and moving more, we would do well to consider the variables in our lives as well.
- We must identify our places of emotional emptiness and admit how futile it is to try to fill those places with food.
- But for today, finding a gentle memory in the midst of a mess is a good start. A really good start.
Personal reflections
1.
“Each time my heart felt a little empty, my stomach
picked up on the cues and suggested I feed it instead”. Do you feel a similar
connection between feelings of emotional emptiness and physical hunger? Yes Do you feel you are able to distinguish between
physical hunger and emotionally triggered hunger, or does it all feel the same
to you? I’m becoming more aware of it. I take the time
to think about whether I’m truly hungry or if I am dealing with something else
that causes me to want to eat.
2.
Lysa describes how she used the phrases of Philippians
4:8 to park her mind in a better spot about the painful relationship with her
father. Using the phrases below and Lysa’s example as a guide, invite God to
give you a better place to park your mind about a painful experience from your
own past.
·
Whatever is true… My
husband loves me no matter what size I am
·
Whatever is noble… He
takes care of me when I’m sick, He helps with the kids without me asking
·
Whatever is right… He
walks with God and is growing in his relationship spiritually
·
Whatever is pure… He
has repented of his addictions and has eyes for only me
·
Whatever is lovely… He
holds me when I need comforting
·
Whatever is admirable, excellent or
praiseworthy… He rearranges his schedule to be there
for things that are important concerning the kids and I
3.
A mosaic is a work of art made up of hundreds or
thousands of tiny, broken pieces of glass or ceramic tile. Lysa describes how
God is making a mosaic of restoration and healing in her heart, gathering up
her broken pieces and making them into something beautiful. Can you imagine God
doing something like this in your heart? If God used the broken pieces of your
life to make a beautiful image, what do you hope it would look like? He has made a new image of my life. Its one of rebirth. No
longer does depression and anxiety rule. I have worked through issues of my
childhood and my young adulthood and feel forgiven and have been able to
forgive others. I am walking a path with God that I haven’t been on before and
it is good.
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